relationshipgoals – The Modern Black Girl

Dear Youngin’,

Wow! Who would’ve thought you’d be here today. Who would of thought you’d learn so much in the span of two and a half years. It’s crazy where life takes you and sometimes it’s difficult to understand the journey but don’t ever question it.

Looking back there’s so many things I wish I could tell you but the truth be told, I wouldn’t be able to sit here and have this wisdom if you didn’t go through the situations that not only bent you a little or a lot but molded you into a fearless young beast.

So here’s some things you should know.

You Are Powerful

Don’t ever question what you’re capable of. As cliche as it sounds you have the ability to make a difference and you know exactly what you want to accomplish. Do not let the world and those around you sway you away from your destiny and truth. You can honestly do anything you put your mind to and the only thing standing in your way is YOU. Go for it!

You Are Worth It

You are worth waiting for. You are worth someone who will really be a someone who will uplift you and not tear you down. You are worthy of trust-filled friendships. You are worthy. Do not give into others demands because you feel as if you’re not worth this or that. Believe in your worth and know it without a doubt.

Stop Trying To Please Everyone

Look I get it. You’re new to this. You’ve never been on your own and had to deal with 4 roommates who are all completely different. You’ve never been separated from your friends of 10 years and had to make new ones but don’t feel like you have to make everyone happy. Not being rude but you physically cannot satisfy each and every person in your life. You just can’t and you know what? That’s Okay!

You Have Time

You are 18 years old. Don’t rush the process. You have plenty of time to be an adult. You have time to find a relationship. You have time to find a job and be free from your parents supporting you. Now at 21 I can say you’ll still struggle with this, it doesn’t just go away but really live in the moment. You’ll never be as young and free as you are today and take advantage of that. Live each day like it’s your last and enjoy it. Go to that party. Go to the dining hall with everyone even though you only have $15. Make the memories now because when your time does come and adulthood is really bestowed upon you. It’s these memories that will forever make you smile.

Call Home More

Check-in more than once a week. I know you’re busy and calling mom and dad just because seems pointless. I know mama calls at the absolute worst times and dad always calls at 8:30 on Saturday like you’re not still passed out from the night before but it’s just them missing you. Yes, you’re on your own now and an adult “technically” but you’ll always be their baby girl. They’re not being annoying, they’re just missing you.

Love,

Auri

What would you tell your freshman self?

We have taken the expression #relationshipgoals a tad bit too far, don’t you think? What happened to long walks on the beach, a romantic dinner, opening a car door or even sending roses? Does that still account for anything? Isn’t this closer to a relationship goal than a guy posting pictures with money stuck to his ear? Oh you’re “talking to the money” right? Well, well, well… Society has definitely played a major role in the way many of us view past twitter trending topic #relationshipgoals.

Again, I’m not saying women don’t have “real” relationship goals either but some of these things are questionable. Society makes us believe that you have to be decked out in diamonds and pearls. Smh. Lucci, Lucci, Lucci. Or the hype of going on trips to countries you cannot pronounce, to impress others. You know the saying “if you can’t spell it, you shouldn’t eat it”. Exactly. This definitely applies.

Don’t get me wrong if you have it, flaunt it. If you worked hard for it, you deserve it. The idea that money and materialistic things make up the true definition of relationship goals, is up for a debate! If that is your take on a relationship goal then more power to you but there are still some simple things in life that seem more suit. Have you ever been attracted to someone that just graduated? Not because they look good in their $300 graduation outfit but because they have a 4.0 GPA and you have the sexiest intellectual conversations with them?

What about that guy that everybody talks about at the job because his car is steady overheating? Did you know he has been in a relationship for 6 years? Did you know he kept his overheating car because he wanted to buy his “fiancee” an engagement ring? Did you know the guy who had the stack of money on Snapchat last week still lives with his mom? She doesn’t live in the best neighborhood either. Yet, he still manages to wear red bottoms and get new rental cars each week.

Honestly, these are the type of things that should play a major part in #relationshipgoals. Especially the type of person you would like to have #reltionshipgoals with. What are you all bringing or have already brought to the table that doesn’t involve money or anything materialistic?

Food for thought…..

Tag: relationshipgoals

A Letter To Freshman Me

#Relationship Goals