Business, Lifestyle, Thoughts of a Black Girl, Uncategorized

Who’s Who: Remaining Level- Headed Amid Success

Ever find yourself among a certain group of people or situation that calls for a drink or three to get through? This was me a few nights ago, but before we go there let’s start with how we got here, or moreso the leading question that inspired this post. Is the question “what do you do for a living” within 5 minutes of meeting someone a common question all over or just one that comes with living in the city. I’ve come to find the question rather annoying. Not because I’m not excited to share what it is I do, and maybe even throw what I’m passionate about and currently working towards on the side in this answer, but because most times it doesn’t seem genuine. In fact, it’s as if this question is asked to determine whether or not I’m of use connection or networking wise or If I’m in their socioeconomic bracket. Iv’e even experienced rather blatant dismissiveness if my response doesn’t meet their expectations. Now, this brings me back to my few nights ago event. At this particular non- networking gathering, sure enough, once again, this question was asked. Frequently. Outside of all the occupations being revealed, a lot of very ego-based conversations seemed to be taking place. But what made matters slightly uncomfortable and called for a drink was that two kept referring to people they didn’t like or people a part of these stories as outsiders and others. They spoke so low of them as if their existence wasn’t as valuable as theirs because of what they did or wore. There was so much emphasis on aiming to be among the “elite” or associate themselves with those who can further their career agenda.

Friendly reminder: Nobody’s shit smells like roses. Despite how hard we may have worked for something or maybe how easily it may have came, things can change and it can be swept from under us in the blink of an eye. Our occupation or whatever else material things we may have doesn’t make us better than the next person. Circumstances and advantages definitely allow us to be better off than others, but not better than character wise and certainly doesn’t diminish the value of another individual’s life. I imagine we all have our arrogant moments. I’m guilty. But, emphasis on moments, and hopefully it isn’t too frequent. Work hard. Strive for what it is you want in this life. To know me is to know that I will always encourage people to go for what is you want in this life, the possibilities are endless! But as we climb our own individual ladders of what we deem to be success, try to remain level headed and always give thanks to the source! AND understand that networking is not basing possible connections off of one individual’s occupation or appearance. You never know who may know who and be mindful of how you dismiss people, you never know if or how you may cross paths with them again in the near future!

Hope everyone has a fabulous week!

xoxo

#MustKnow, Business, Business, Uncategorized

New Year’s Resolutions: How About Now?

Out with the old in with the NEW. Who says you have to wait until January 1st to switch things up or start “new year’s resolutions.” In fact, what better time than to start now. Dust that notebook off or purchase a new one. NOW is the time to write down our goals, our plan of action, and begin working towards manifesting them. It takes 21 days to form a habit. Do we really want to wait until the first of a new year to start working out, eating right, finishing a book, managing our finances correctly, ect…. again? Discipline is key! Do exactly what you said you were going to do, set deadlines, and DO share it with those who you KNOW will hold you accountable. My mentor always tells me, “never take on an assignment without creating a deadline.” I’ve honestly been applying this concept to areas in my life outside of work and it definitely has been contributing to my overall peace of mind and pushes me to accomplish small milestones. Did you know that according to studies only about 8% of people accomplish their dreams? That means 92% of us  leave this earth with unfinished dream related business, or without even going for them. Realistically, many of us will fall into the 92%, but God willing, you and I won’t, but that starts with decisions we make moving forward. Which percentage are you trying to fall under? Why wait to do tomorrow what you can do today.

Check these motivational videos out regarding discipline and goals!

Discipline

Goals

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Peace of Mind

At what expense is your peace of mind? Money? Great sex? Nice things?  A conversation came up within the work place the other day. Relatively new, I mind my business and simply listen. A colleague was going on and on about how unhappy she is with her current boo. In summary, boo thang is trash. She was asked why she stayed and her response was because of the lifestyle he offered. His company came with cash and gifts. I’ve too found myself holding on to things or an individual not because it’s of value or because it was healthy per se but because of what it promised or came with. I’m usually not the one to blame it on the alcohol but I will say that a few days ago it definitely contributed to me being in my feelings. Frisky feelings to say the least, which resulted in exchanging some photos with an ex. I’m not sure if it was that the liquor was wearing off, my inner self trying to talk some sense to me, or a combination of both, shoot maybe it was God, but what originally started off as enticing and sexy, to say the least, turned into me feeling sick to my stomach. I felt rather awkward and began to think to myself.

What good is great dick if it comes with lies, confusion, and heartbreak? What good are lavish gifts if they come with entitlement and no respect. What good is money if you have to compromise who you are at the core to obtain it. What good is that high paying job if the work environment is toxic and literally tearing at your self worth or mental space. What good are thousands of followers and fame if you feel empty inside? Need I go on? You get it. Disclaimer, if an uneasy mind is due to underlying mental health issues, then it’s out of our control and we must not be afraid to seek professional help. But if it is not, understand that health is wealth and so is our peace of mind. A healthy mental space has got to be a priority. Maybe the things mentioned aren’t what contribute to you having a restless mind. None the less, it’s important we pinpoint what it currently is or may be and avoid it. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the notion that money, among other tangible things, are a cure all and will bring happiness. I’m not rich, but I can easily think back on a few moments where I thought receiving a certain amount of money or a specific item would fix a situation and it didn’t. I had to get to the root of the issue. The underlying issue that was making me lose sleep and wasn’t sitting well with my soul. This being stated, make your mental health a priority, choose peace!

xoxo

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Don’t be too hard on yourself: You Are Enough

First day on the job and I’m fired. Yes, fired. I cannot make this up. Your girl got fired on my very first day on the floor. Unaware of how or why this just happened, and in complete shock, I calmly respond, “oh wow is this a joke… well can I at least come in next Friday and pick up my check?” I walked out and immediately called the one friend I can always count on to answer. I vented, she said her encouraging piece, and I hung up. I called back in 30 minutes and it wasn’t long into the conversation before I broke down in tears. Why exactly was I crying? It wasn’t exactly because I got fired, from that job at least. If I’m honest I planned on quitting right before my birthday. It was more so the overwhelming emotion of not feeling good enough that came over me. I began to reflect on all my, what I perceive as, short comings in life. Here I am, almost a quarter of a century and nowhere near where I want to be in life, success and financial wise. How was I fired from a job that doesn’t require a degree? Why am I being rejected from so many jobs that require my degree and qualifications? I followed my heart and moved to a city far away from loved ones and now what? My sister looks up to me and sees me as having my shit together, but that is far from the case. When will the shit I got going on behind the scenes start being enough to pay rent! So many negative thoughts crossed my mind. I was being extremely hard on myself. The next day at work, I was definitely operating off of low energy and it didn’t help that two “how are you’s?” turned into them pouring all their fears and complaints of the current state of their workplace on to me.

I took a day to reflect, only entertain those and things I knew would uplift me and I prayed and meditated a lot the next day. I realize I was and have been extremely hard on myself these last few days. I wasn’t acknowledging all that I had accomplished up until this point. I’m literally experiencing some things I prayed to come to past, leading up to me being here. This being stated, there’s no set timeframe or manual on how to live this life. Work hard, stay consistent, and press forward. Do your part and shit will come to pass. Don’t forget to give yourself credit for all that you have done. A lot of people can’t do what you have done. God tends to open doors that are needed vs. our wants. A lot happens for a reason and it’s all a part of your designed purpose. Remember your why. Remember who you are. And always remember that you are enough! Don’t take rejection personal.

“Enjoy the fruits of your previous labors- ” 

About, Business, Careers, Community, Featured, Lifestyle, Motivation, Opinions, TheMBG, Uncategorized, Urban Issues

Fall Back and Spring Forward

As the mark to make a month slowly approaches since I’ve been on a social media hiatus, I’m sad to say that it’s coming to an end. I’d be lying if I said that waking up carefree and not having to check notifications, direct messages or insights hasn’t been refreshing to say the least. I’ve gained so much clarity on specific situations pertaining to business endeavors, business relationships, friendships, school and I’ve learned so much about myself.

Even though my desire to return to social media has dwindled, it’s imperative to my growth as an entrepreneur. I’ve been blessed to obtain additional clients from sharing my content online. I’ve also had the opportunity to meet like minded individuals in the same field.

The most challenging part about my break was accepting the fact that even though I confirmed my perception on this virtual world that we’re so engulfed in, which I already knew, I must admit that it has played an important part in allowing myself to see all of the positive aspects that people see in me. There is nothing more fulfilling than knowing that you can not only encourage, but influence others to be the best they can be, solely by being yourself.

Self awareness is one thing, but when you come to a sudden realization and everything starts coming together, it all makes sense. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, pressured, confused and what to find out the people who are truly in your corner, unplug from everyone and everything. When it’s time for you to make your return, you’ll come back recharged, refreshed and ready to conquer!

About, Careers, Community, Faith, Health, Lifestyle, Opinions, Thoughts of a Black Girl, Uncategorized, Urban Issues

Unplugged

As you mature, life forces you to make tough decisions and if you’re anything like me, that isn’t necessarily your favorite thing to do. The year 2018 has advanced technology like no other, especially social media. While most enjoy snapping selfies, fulfilling their self esteem based on the number of views and likes they receive, I take pleasure in the moments that aren’t captured.

Earlier in the week, I experienced a mental breakdown, that I’m ashamed to admit that was linked to my social media platform that had me considering to delete my page. About (2) years ago, my instagram had 600 followers; fast forwarding to today, I’m at 6,000. The irony in this is that I had no intentions on growing my page, let alone indulging in blogging. Due to my oblivion of what was taking place, I hadn’t realized the type of community I was creating solely by being myself. Whether it was posting a picture with an inspiring caption, displaying ways to be proactive in achieving your goals, offering workouts to remain fit or sharing words of encouragement to my story, I related to my followers in some form or fashion.

Regardless of Instagram’s new algorithm, supplying your audience with what they want to see is critical to your success (based on society’s standards). About a month ago, 54% of my audience were men and 46% were women varying from the ages of 18-35. Since I’ve started my medical school journey, I’ve been touching base on the meetings I attend within my medical organization, clinical rotations at the hospital, shadowing sessions with various physicians, as well as my skincare services that I offer as an esthetician on my platform. Most have taken well to it, but some have been requesting more workout videos, makeup tips and stories where I demonstrate how I meal prep. Although I haven’t disregarded these requests, I’m aware of the importance of having a niche and being consistent.

What was the point of the backstory of my mini meltdown you may ask? Although I’m a firm believer of putting yourself first when it comes to your mental health, I’m a softy when it comes to those who seek advise and look for direction. That’s been my biggest battle thus far. Although I experience so much bliss when I’m not utilizing social media and enjoying the moment rather than capturing it, in the back of my mind, I think about those who look for my opinion. Yes, I believe in doing things for me, but I genuinely have a love for helping others. I’ve spent so much more time with God and have obtained the ability to hear him more clearly. On the contrary, I’ve received calls, texts and notifications of people checking on me and inquiring where I’ve gone. Keep in mind that it hasn’t been a full week, yet people have noticed. While that is a positive aspect and this decision has shown me who my true friends are, I still have to maneuver in a fashion conducive to my health. I encourage anyone experiencing similar emotions to take a break, unplug and refrain from feeling pressured to continue to do what you think you should be doing because the majority is doing it. I am so thankful that I have a fulfilling life outside of my platforms and don’t seek for validation from others compared to those who do. I haven’t made a final decision as far as when or if I’ll make a return. I’ve prayed and plan on fasting for an answer, but until then, you’ll just have to stay tuned.

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Women to know Wednesday: Mali’s youngest & first Foreign Affairs Minister, Kamissa Camara

This week’s Women to Know Wednesday acknowledges Mali’s youngest and FIRST Minister of Foreign Affairs, Kamissa Camara. She is a woman dedicated to spreading knowledge on culture, religion, and information as it pertains to West African politics. The mission of her work centers around the aim to strengthen and “build intellectual bridges between sub-Saharan Africa, Europe and the United States.” Born and raised in France, but by West African parents, she holds a B.A in Applied Foreign Language (English & German) specializing in International Relations & a M.A in International Economics and Development. Camara also holds Yale’s Women Campaign School under her educational belt. She has held various leadership roles related to political, government, and global affairs as well as partake in fellowships that entailed research and in depth African studies.

kamissa

You may have seen her on Television before or hear her on a radio station from time to time because her speaking engagement opportunities are endless! CNN, Voice of America, just to name two out of many. Well informed, beauty, and brains Camara is definitely a woman to know and to continuously keep an eye out for because we know the list of accolades and positive impact she is currently doing will only get longer and stronger as she climbs what seems to be a political ladder! Congrats Kamissa!

Interested in reading more about this modern day beauty? Check out her online platforms!

Kamissacamara.com

LinkedIn

#MustKnow, Education, Featured, History, Motivation, Uncategorized, Urban Issues

Women To Know Wednesday: 19 Black women running for judge

Black women making political history will always be refreshing news. In this specific case, not one, not three, but 19 women to be acknowledged! In Harris County, Texas, 19 black women will be running for judge in the upcoming election. This will be the county’s largest number of black women seen on a ballot and the FIRST time in history this number of black women will be running for various judicial seats in one county. Definitely women to know!  This being stated, congratulations

Sandra Peake,

Judge Ramona Franklin,

Germaine Tanner,

Angela Graves- Harrington,

Cassandra Hollemon,

Tonya Jones,

Dedra Davis,

LaShawn A. Williams,

Latosha Lewis Payne

Linda M. Dunson,

Toria J. Finch,

Erica Hughes,

Lucia G. Bates,

Ronnisha Bowman,

Michelle Moore,

Sharon Barney,

Shannon Baldwin,

and Lori Chambers Gray!

Furthermore, special thanks to Christin McQueen for capturing such a moment with all candidates in one picture. Congratulations ladies!  Click the link below to see which judicial position each woman is running for.

Women to Know Wednesday

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Sacrificing Your Friends For Your Future

It’s important to monitor your inner circle when it comes to pursuing your goals in life. One of the hardest realities I’ve faced has been learning to let go of individuals that have exceeded their expiration date. I used to be one of those people who held onto relationships (both platonic and romantic) based on the amount of time the person has been in my life.

After various events that took place within a friendship of mine, I realized that outgrowing people is a part of life and accepted the fact that everyone isn’t meant to come along during certain parts of my journey. If you care for your loved ones as much as I do, then you’ll understand why this decision wasn’t an easy one. There will be some people that take offense to your choice because they either don’t understand or don’t want to put in the effort to understand that you all may be growing apart and going separate paths.

One of my biggest mistakes were allowing some of those people to make me feel guilty for growing, for becoming the woman I am and wanting more for myself. Rather than encouraging me, I was ignored, called conceited and selfish. They were wrong about every description except classifying me as, “selfish”.  Even though I’m not a self absorbed person, for the past (6) months I’ve been extremely selfish with my funds, time and things I put my energy into. They say that your 20’s are the perfect time to think about yourself.  This is the time to make decisions for yourself and highly consider what’s best for you; it isn’t the time to settle. 

After having an epiphany and grasping what that concept really meant, I no longer felt the need to apologize for the decisions I’ve been making. I quickly learned that my true friends who genuinely supported me resided in different parts of the world. Sometimes we get so caught up on accessibility and fail to realize that just because something is available and tangible doesn’t always mean it’s in our best interest.

You want to ensure that those around you call you to the carpet when you’re slacking. Your friends must be able to hold you accountable for your actions even when they aren’t the best. They need to have the ability to feed your spirit and pour into you when you don’t have the energy to do it for yourself. 

In no way, shape or form am I telling you to drop your, “day 1’s”. However, I do encourage you to decipher who your are keeping in your life, why you are keeping them in your life and if they deserve to stay.

About, Dating, Love, Opinions, Relationships, Sex, TheMBG, Thoughts of a Black Girl, Uncategorized, Urban Issues

Knowing When It’s Time To Let Go

December will make (3) years since I’ve been in a committed relationship and as much as     I’d like to say that it was a challenge to overcome, that’s not necessarily the case. Like most people, the desire to rekindle an old flame sat at the back of my mind for quite some time, but after revisiting the events that took place I realized the breakup was for the best.

Being in love comes with a sense of euphoria as well as a great deal of pain because once you all hit your first bump in the road, it feels as if your world is ending. After the dust settles and you all make up, everything goes back to normal. The thing about love that most leave out is outgrowing the person. They could be the most attractive, sweetest and intelligent partner, but the goals you have for yourself and their ambition may not align. People don’t always part ways due to infidelity; sometimes they just grow apart. If you’re self aware, you typically sense when it’s time to move on, but we all know it’s not that easy to let go.

When I was in a relationship, although I was happy, I placed a lot of weight on the future. Yes, planning ahead is important; picturing yourself with the other person for, “forever” is what I’ve learned to consider when dating, but I’ve also realized that accepting the person at face value is just as important. It’s a great concept to have when it comes to seeing the potential in your partner, but what most fail to realize is that it isn’t guaranteed. After having an epiphany, I made the conscious decision to move forward and not to turn back. Even though he was my best friend, my confidant and lover, I had to stomach the fact that we were on two completely different paths. One of the hardest things about love is accepting the fact that just because you love someone, that does not signify that you all must be together.

If I told you there wasn’t a sense of guilt that followed this frame of mind, I’d be lying. It’s tough making decisions that you don’t want to and it’s even tougher regarding the means you go about doing so. In no way, shape or form am I perfect; I’m human. As a human being, learning to make and live with the decisions you make are not only a part of life, but a part of love. Knowing what I know now, had I prolonged what had plateaued so long ago, resentment had the possibility of developing. Rather than ending up tolerating one another, letting go was best because it saved whatever form of friendship we could have.

I can’t see what 2020 will hold, I don’t know what’s to come in the future and I’m not putting a time limit on anything, but what I can do is prepare. I can use the lessons learned in my past to advance my relationship to come. I can be vocal when I feel as if our situation seems as if it is becoming complacent and stagnant and know that my partner will reciprocate what needs to be done to avoid this from consuming our relationship based on the foundation we’ve built. I encourage everyone to listen to their gut; listen to your spirit because it won’t steer you wrong. Never stay out of guilt, but stay purely out of desire.