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Self Love

There comes a point in time where life events take place that affect our self esteem. Whether it’s being laid off from your job, you’re experiencing a random breakout or grieving a traumatizing breakup, it all has an impact on our self esteem. Based on my experiences, if it wasn’t for the love and value I possess for myself, I would not have survived certain situations.

Being confident in who you are gives you the freedom to refrain from subjecting yourself to what others think. I stumbled across a suggested page on one of my social media handles and the young lady posted a video responding to negative comments about her weight. She politely stated that she is aware that she is, “skinny” and is satisfied with her size. The young lady also rejected any suggestions that have been made to gain weight similar to her sister’s. My favorite portion of the video was when she made it a point to elaborate regardless of the number of hate comments she acquired, the bottom line is, “I love me”.

Most of us have a difficult time admitting this, but only a portion of us can actually agree with her statement; some of us actually aren’t satisfied with who we are. The minute our skin is compromised, we start to wonder if our significant other would still view us in the same light or if our peers would respect us in the same manner if we decrease our weekend outings due to a job loss. We all have insecurities, as we should because it keeps us humble and we are human, but we should not allow the things that we aren’t pleased with to dictate our overall perception of ourselves. 

It may be hard to stomach, but self love doesn’t happen when everything is going well; it takes place during hard times. The stages that take place before obtaining true self love can be perceived as boot camp; it’s there to strip away remnants that no longer serve a purpose and mold you into the person who you are within. If you are reading this, love yourself on your good days and even more on your bad days, reward yourself for all of your accomplishments regardless of how minor they be, stop looking for validation from others because you are your biggest competition and always remember that no one will love you like YOU.

Education, Thoughts of a Black Girl, Uncategorized

A Letter To Freshman Me

Dear Youngin’,

Wow! Who would’ve thought you’d be here today. Who would of thought you’d learn so much in the span of two and a half years. It’s crazy where life takes you and sometimes it’s difficult to understand the journey but don’t ever question it.

Looking back there’s so many things I wish I could tell you but the truth be told, I wouldn’t be able to sit here and have this wisdom if you didn’t go through the situations that not only bent you a little or a lot but molded you into a fearless young beast.

So here’s some things you should know.

You Are Powerful

Don’t ever question what you’re capable of. As cliche as it sounds you have the ability to make a difference and you know exactly what you want to accomplish. Do not let the world and those around you sway you away from your destiny and truth. You can honestly do anything you put your mind to and the only thing standing in your way is YOU. Go for it!

You Are Worth It

You are worth waiting for. You are worth someone who will really be a someone who will uplift you and not tear you down. You are worthy of  trust-filled friendships. You are worthy. Do not give into others demands because you feel as if you’re not worth this or that. Believe in your worth and know it without a doubt.

Stop Trying To Please Everyone

Look I get it. You’re new to this. You’ve never been on your own and had to deal with 4 roommates who are all completely different. You’ve never been separated from your friends of 10 years and had to make new ones but don’t feel like you have to make everyone happy. Not being rude but you physically cannot satisfy each and every person in your life. You just can’t and you know what? That’s Okay!

You Have Time

You are 18 years old. Don’t rush the process. You have plenty of time to be an adult. You have time to find a relationship. You have time to find a job and be free from your parents supporting you. Now at 21 I can say you’ll still struggle with this, it doesn’t just go away but really live in the moment. You’ll never be as young and free as you are today and take advantage of that. Live each day like it’s your last and enjoy it. Go to that party. Go to the dining hall with everyone even though you only have $15. Make the memories now because when your time does come and adulthood is really bestowed upon you. It’s these memories that will forever make you smile.

Call Home More

Check-in more than once a week. I know you’re busy and calling mom and dad just because seems pointless. I know mama calls at the absolute worst times and dad always calls at 8:30 on Saturday like you’re not still passed out from the night before but it’s just them missing you. Yes, you’re on your own now and an adult “technically” but you’ll always be their baby girl. They’re not being annoying, they’re just missing you.



What would you tell your freshman self?

Health, Lifestyle, Motivation, Travel, Uncategorized

Self – Love

Happy Friday ladies! I hope everybody’s day was nothing short of amazing and if it wasn’t, no worries. Why? Because every hour is an opportunity to restart and lows don’t last forever!

Today I want to take the time out to touch on “Self- Love.” As an active social media user, I tend to see these two words a lot. Everybody is for it and many seem to post about it. However, whether or not one is actually applying the concept is what truly matters. This being stated, what exactly is Self-Love? What does self love mean to you? Now before you answer that question, I understand that there will be a wide range of responses. However, I truly believe that the meaning behind every response will all essentially boil down to the same core principles. Below I have what self-love means to me and 4 steps you can take to begin or continue your Self-Love journey.

Self-Love is Self-Care. Self – Love is having the upmost regard, respect, and love for yourself to the point that you will consistently make decisions that will protect your overall wellbeing and happiness.

1. Sometimes breaks are necessary

It’s so easy to get caught up in everyday life motions. There are highs and there are lows. That is life. However, a part of loving & taking care of yourself is knowing when to mentally step away from certain things and reclaim your energy.

• Is a friend, relative, or acquaintance of yours always trying to gossip or has a way of draining you with his or her words? Step away!

• Do you find yourself spending way too much time on social media to the point that it takes away from your day? Step away!

• Attempting to remain friends after a freshly broken heart, but still find yourself crying? Na boo step away!

Whatever or whoever it is, if it is interfering with your peace of mind, removing yourself from that space for a day or two is necessary.

2. Make time to do WHAT you enjoy

• Stop putting your needs or interests on the side, make time for it!

• Deliberately taking time to do what YOU enjoy outside of everyday obligations is refreshing and will play a huge role in keeping you sane.

3. Surround yourself with loved ones

I cannot stress this enough!

• STOP putting your friends on the back-burner.

• Stop telling your loved ones you “don’t have time.”

• Take that sip and paint class with the ladies! Go get drinks with your favorite cousin. Value loved ones while they are here!

• Make that phone call!

4. Have a quiet moment of reflection.

• Take this time to put all electronics on DND and tell God/ the universe what you are thankful for on this very day.

• Shout those heart desires out loud.

• Reflect on your highs or lows of that day

• Listen to an encouraging sermon.

• RELAX & VISUALIZE personal goals