Dating, Relationships, Sex, Uncategorized

Living Single

I know I’m not the only one that feels like being single is weird. It does and it’s like “what do I do next?” What do we do next? Go to happy hour, sit cute and catch a vibe with a fine thang. Have a one night stand why not? It’s easier said than done. I think when women become single we focus more on ourselves. We start to evaluate all that we need to do in order to keep our last bit of peace of mind if you haven’t lost it all. We really start to love thyself. It’s crazy because break-ups are always connected to disconnection, miscommunication/no communication and things we possibly won’t ever forgive. But now I look at break-ups as lessons. Whether that is for you all to get yourselves together and brings those STRONG, INDEPENDENT forces together. Or be completely done with one another so you can prosper accordingly without them. We are starting to use grind time as the getaway instead of taking a bite out of Mr. Chocolate at the bar. We are smart as hell, you better ask about us.


It’s like I just got out a relationship, why do I need to jump right back in? I need space to breath. Find myself again. But damn focusing so much on myself made me a little lonely. And just like that you’ve got your first example on “how single life sucks!” I’m quite sure a few of you are wondering “how did you just say you all of those things about focus on yourselves you don’t need…” I know but you get what I’m saying. That single life hits you at night. Low key it hits me all of the damn time when I least expect it. ZESTYYYYY! Zesty means having the urge to have some hot and steamy sex. Now if I’m single how likely is this going to be happening? Ladies that aren’t concerned with getting some, what about cuddling? Many guys don’t cuddle with women especially while they are single. It shows to much affection for those that are not. Which leaves us zesty, thirsty and about to die from lack of attention and butt rubs. We hold you all completely and utterly accountable. Lol.


All jokes aside how easy do you think being a single, black woman is? That was a serious question. I’ll sit that right there. I’ve always wanted to know what you all “thought” we did and/or do while we are single. Perhaps, drink our little lives away? Yeah? Some of us but womp, womp wrong again. Men in the building keep it funky with your girl, when your ex gets back on the market, for those that care, what do you think she’s doing? Now I want to make this as fun and cranked up as possible. Keep it cute and don’t be rude! Drop comments below!

Lifestyle, Motivation, Opinions, Uncategorized

Be Selfish With Your Time And Money

My finances are in a much better state then they were last year. In order for me to get to this point I had to make some very necessary changes.I was no longer transferring money from my saving account into my checking account just to stay afloat.I became very selfish with my time. I was no longer going out of my way just for the sake of being nice.If you want something from me please know that I expect something in exchange for my efforts.Will I be compensated for my services? Will this experience help me grow as a person?


It’s not always about money but, I need  to know what’s in it for me. What will I gain from using my time,talents and skills for someone else’s benefit other than being told “Thanks, you’re so sweet for helping”.No! That’s cancelled.Gone are those days when I used to take Uber’s and city buses around town just to help someone in ways that were convenient for them.

I had to learn that people will continue to use you, if you allow them too.
If you have a side hustle or skill how many of the people in your circle are willing to support you without discounts and handouts? Please know your friends aren’t your friends if they are not willing to pay you for your work but are willing to pay a stranger full price.
Ladies, you are the boss of you. Don’t let other people bully or guilt you in to working for free. Know your worth!

When did you start living for you?

Motivation, Thoughts of a Black Girl

Monday Push

Ever find yourself in an uncomfortable space? A space where things seem to not be going as planned. You’ve always been pretty good at making things happen behind the scenes and have never been afraid to take risks. I personally always tell myself, “things will always work itself out” and “money will always find its way back.” Realistically, this is not always the case. Maybe these last few weeks money is tight, and things do not seem to be working themselves out. In fact, mental breakdowns are reoccurring. Sometimes we become so overwhelmed or displeased with our reality that we find ourselves dwelling in self-pity, thinking we are less than, and even questioning God, asking why certain things aren’t happening as quickly or in the manner that we would like. We even begin to compare our situation with others, and of course from “an outside looking in perspective.” Check this out:


Don’t let anyone or any circumstance convince you that you’re not good enough. I don’t care if you didn’t maintain a 3.0 GPA like your sibling. I don’t care if your parents don’t agree with past decisions you’ve made. You didn’t listen to wise counsel (been there. Done that. We all can relate.) and now all you hear is the “I told you so’s.” Maybe the path towards your success is a little riskier and not as straight and narrow as entering a guaranteed profession upon graduating. Maybe the consequences of past decisions knocked you off your path for a little bit. You want to be a rock star. She wants to be a lawyer. You want to be a Contract Specialist. She wants to be a teacher. You want it all. She wants it all. Let’s be clear, we are all worthy of just that. You were made with purpose and intention and past mistakes do not diminish your worth as an individual or discredit your accomplishments. Comparing yourself to someone else is a losing formula.

Embrace YOU.

Happy Monday Ladies!

– XO

Education, Thoughts of a Black Girl, Uncategorized

A Letter To Freshman Me

Dear Youngin’,

Wow! Who would’ve thought you’d be here today. Who would of thought you’d learn so much in the span of two and a half years. It’s crazy where life takes you and sometimes it’s difficult to understand the journey but don’t ever question it.

Looking back there’s so many things I wish I could tell you but the truth be told, I wouldn’t be able to sit here and have this wisdom if you didn’t go through the situations that not only bent you a little or a lot but molded you into a fearless young beast.

So here’s some things you should know.

You Are Powerful

Don’t ever question what you’re capable of. As cliche as it sounds you have the ability to make a difference and you know exactly what you want to accomplish. Do not let the world and those around you sway you away from your destiny and truth. You can honestly do anything you put your mind to and the only thing standing in your way is YOU. Go for it!

You Are Worth It

You are worth waiting for. You are worth someone who will really be a someone who will uplift you and not tear you down. You are worthy of  trust-filled friendships. You are worthy. Do not give into others demands because you feel as if you’re not worth this or that. Believe in your worth and know it without a doubt.

Stop Trying To Please Everyone

Look I get it. You’re new to this. You’ve never been on your own and had to deal with 4 roommates who are all completely different. You’ve never been separated from your friends of 10 years and had to make new ones but don’t feel like you have to make everyone happy. Not being rude but you physically cannot satisfy each and every person in your life. You just can’t and you know what? That’s Okay!

You Have Time

You are 18 years old. Don’t rush the process. You have plenty of time to be an adult. You have time to find a relationship. You have time to find a job and be free from your parents supporting you. Now at 21 I can say you’ll still struggle with this, it doesn’t just go away but really live in the moment. You’ll never be as young and free as you are today and take advantage of that. Live each day like it’s your last and enjoy it. Go to that party. Go to the dining hall with everyone even though you only have $15. Make the memories now because when your time does come and adulthood is really bestowed upon you. It’s these memories that will forever make you smile.

Call Home More

Check-in more than once a week. I know you’re busy and calling mom and dad just because seems pointless. I know mama calls at the absolute worst times and dad always calls at 8:30 on Saturday like you’re not still passed out from the night before but it’s just them missing you. Yes, you’re on your own now and an adult “technically” but you’ll always be their baby girl. They’re not being annoying, they’re just missing you.



What would you tell your freshman self?

Thoughts of a Black Girl

The Rhythm of Understanding

“The music you listen to says a lot about you.”

A statement I thought I’d never hear at a job interview. Still, the question stayed with me. Does the music you listen to really say a lot about you as a person? Don’t get me wrong I love some of the artist that are out today but I’m a huge old school artist fan. Maybe because I grew up listening to it on the way to school with the parents or maybe because I just love a good story.

Some of my favorite artist of all time are Tupac, Faith Evans, India. Arie and Nas.  But I also have an appreciation for the artist of today as well. Whether it be Drake or the Migos. But if you ask me what my favorite songs are they come from one those first 3 artist. So what does that say about me?

It made me wonder, if someone was to look in our playlist right now what would they find? Does it matter if your playlist is filled with classics such as Keep Ya Head Up or Mo Money Mo Problems or the current hits from PnB and Post Malone?

Can this really give an in depth look into who we are as a person?

In a sense I guess it can.

I mean we often listen to things we can relate to 85% of the time. It’s the same reason some of our playlist are filled with middle school hits. We can relate to how we felt at the moment this song came out or the feeling of nostalgia thinking about simpler times. It’s all in the stories and how they’re delivered.

Just this summer my little brother told me I have “weird taste” in music. His explanation was that I listen to old meaningful songs. I laughed it off at the moment but it’s true. I like to think I live each day with a meaningful purpose. So maybe I like to hear people talk about how they did the same thing.

As much as I like A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie sometimes I just don’t know how I can relate to it on a deeper level. It just doesn’t resonate with me and my personal experiences but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t relate to somebody else.

It’s obvious that on some level the music we choose to listen to resonates and means something to us in a way. Whether it’s going through a breakup or overcoming different challenges in your life, it’s our way of knowing that somebody out there understands us.

We change and evolve and when we do so does our music.

Do you agree?

What music do you listen to and why?

Motivation, Thoughts of a Black Girl, Uncategorized

Learn & Adjust

Life is funny. That thing you told EVERYONE & they momma was coming never showed up. It wasn’t that you lied. In fact, you fact checked, signed, AND confirmed the estimated time of arrival with the ship handler. You got excited, shared with the world, and things took an unexpected turn for the left.

Remember that individual you spoke so poorly about? That individual who allowed her emotions to trump logic. Fast forward, you now find yourself going through a similar predicament, cringing while holding back tears because you can’t get a text back.

It seems as though just last week you were telling your best friend “I can’t believe this is happening to me,” or “seems like what I want will never come to pass.” But look at you now! Smiling, spiritual and mental health intact, flourishing and what not!

We’ve all been there. Again. Life is funny. The very thing or circumstances you never thought you would experience, you are now experiencing, they are now your truth! The vision we have in mind for ourselves seems so far away. However, although life is sure as hell FUNNY, the beautiful thing about it is that it keeps going and it’s NEVER too late to restart, recharge, and redirect YOUR path.

Tips To Stay Afloat


Be slow to speak
This is something I’m personally working on. It’s so easy to cast judgement on other people’s actions. Truth is, you never know how you will react to or handle a certain situation until you personally experience it. It’s human to have an opinion. It’s normal and completely OK to share. But understand that people’s actions very seldom have anything to do with you. Instead, they are a reflection of their upbringing, their mindset, and current emotional state. From the outside looking in, he or she may look dumb as hell. Understood, but never think you are better than someone because of what they are going through or how they approached something.

It took me three years to truly grasp the infamous “Move in Silence” quote. It is not to say go about things in a sneaky or shady manner. It is not to discourage you from sharing unestablished visions with loved ones. The thing about being so quick to disclose our plans is 1: Believe it or not you WILL have people praying against it. 2: It’s not necessarily that loved ones aren’t excited for you, but they don’t understand it, so may project their doubts and fears over you because they are only thinking from a carnal perspective so aren’t for the “risk taking.” P.s (no worries, they’ll most likely be on board when it comes to life, so don’t share every move.) 3: The world has an interesting way of counteracting efforts when you share too soon with too many! This being stated, I encourage you to write it down, set a plan, and actively takes steps to execute it!

Learn and Adjust
We all fall short. We all make mistakes. There’s consequences for all our actions. Good or bad, it’s never the end of the world! What matters is that we learn from them. What steps have you taken to ensure you won’t go through it again? Amazing people are placed in our life for a reason. Don’t be afraid to surround yourself and lean on some of them for support. Also, don’t be afraid to learn from others that are going through circumstances that you’d rather not experience. Like my grandma use to always tell us, “you don’t have to touch the stove too to know it’s hot if you just seen ya sister burn herself!”
Shit happens… Life isn’t always “fair.” What’s important is that you never give up. The idea is that you LEARN and ADJUST.

Push Through!
Keep moving forward. Stay focused on the goal. Disregard the naysayers. Know and own the fact that your heart desires can be brought to life!

Half way through the week and one day closer to greatness. Greatness being whatever specific goal that you are currently working towards. Drop a comment let us know some of your heart desires or words of encouragement for a fellow modern black beauty!

#MustKnow, Thoughts of a Black Girl

Black History Month At PWI’s vs HBCU’s

Black History Month.

The month that we celebrate the accomplishments of prominent members of the African American society. The month we are able to recognize those that came before us and acknowledge where the African American Community is heading in terms of advancements.

Black History Month at a PWI is often an odd time. It’s time where the Black community is continuously celebrating and brings out their best Afrocentric gear. However on a wider scale, at UCF Black History Month is more  of a footnote in the school agenda opposed to the main article.

Now this isn’t to be blamed on the school itself. It is a Public White Institution and many of the student’s don’t hold this month to the same esteem as the Black Community.
Why is that?

Why is that even in today’s society a month that is dedicated to the celebration of accomplishments of those who have paved the way for many of the aspect that are essential to our lives today. From the creation of the first blood bank to traffic signals. Without these intelligent and determined African Americans, we as Americans would lack so many inventions that make life today what it is.

Is it because we’re only allotted one month a year where you celebrate these accomplishments? Is it because as Blacks we are taught to appreciate people such as Malcolm X and Madame C.J. Walker for all the advancements they made for us? Is it because since I attend a PWI, my white counterparts have not simply been taught the same thing? 

There’s so many reasons that Black History Month isn’t held to the same standard at a PWI. Yes, there’s the Multicultural Student Center who host events and post banners. But why is that we need a Multicultural Student Center in the first place for a school to recognize the importance of the month?

Why is it that at HBCUs this month means something. It’s month where are speakers and tours and constant talk and appreciation for those who have paved the way for us? Why is that at a PWI we are still fighting for that same recognition?

It could be culture gap. It could be the way that the PWI white community was raised and how they were indirectly taught to perceive this month. It could be a lot of factors but the question remains.

When will there be no difference in celebration?