Category: Lifestyle

Business, Lifestyle, Thoughts of a Black Girl, Uncategorized

Who’s Who: Remaining Level- Headed Amid Success

Sandré

Ever find yourself among a certain group of people or situation that calls for a drink or three to get through? This was me a few nights ago, but before we go there let’s start with how we got here, or moreso the leading question that inspired this post. Is the question “what do you do for a living” within 5 minutes of meeting someone a common question all over or just one that comes with living in the city. I’ve come to find the question rather annoying. Not because I’m not excited to share what it is I do, and maybe even throw what I’m passionate about and currently working towards on the side in this answer, but because most times it doesn’t seem genuine. In fact, it’s as if this question is asked to determine whether or not I’m of use connection or networking wise or If I’m in their socioeconomic bracket. Iv’e even experienced rather blatant dismissiveness if my response doesn’t meet their expectations. Now, this brings me back to my few nights ago event. At this particular non- networking gathering, sure enough, once again, this question was asked. Frequently. Outside of all the occupations being revealed, a lot of very ego-based conversations seemed to be taking place. But what made matters slightly uncomfortable and called for a drink was that two kept referring to people they didn’t like or people a part of these stories as outsiders and others. They spoke so low of them as if their existence wasn’t as valuable as theirs because of what they did or wore. There was so much emphasis on aiming to be among the “elite” or associate themselves with those who can further their career agenda.

Friendly reminder: Nobody’s shit smells like roses. Despite how hard we may have worked for something or maybe how easily it may have came, things can change and it can be swept from under us in the blink of an eye. Our occupation or whatever else material things we may have doesn’t make us better than the next person. Circumstances and advantages definitely allow us to be better off than others, but not better than character wise and certainly doesn’t diminish the value of another individual’s life. I imagine we all have our arrogant moments. I’m guilty. But, emphasis on moments, and hopefully it isn’t too frequent. Work hard. Strive for what it is you want in this life. To know me is to know that I will always encourage people to go for what is you want in this life, the possibilities are endless! But as we climb our own individual ladders of what we deem to be success, try to remain level headed and always give thanks to the source! AND understand that networking is not basing possible connections off of one individual’s occupation or appearance. You never know who may know who and be mindful of how you dismiss people, you never know if or how you may cross paths with them again in the near future!

Hope everyone has a fabulous week!

xoxo

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Peace of Mind

Sandré

At what expense is your peace of mind? Money? Great sex? Nice things?  A conversation came up within the work place the other day. Relatively new, I mind my business and simply listen. A colleague was going on and on about how unhappy she is with her current boo. In summary, boo thang is trash. She was asked why she stayed and her response was because of the lifestyle he offered. His company came with cash and gifts. I’ve too found myself holding on to things or an individual not because it’s of value or because it was healthy per se but because of what it promised or came with. I’m usually not the one to blame it on the alcohol but I will say that a few days ago it definitely contributed to me being in my feelings. Frisky feelings to say the least, which resulted in exchanging some photos with an ex. I’m not sure if it was that the liquor was wearing off, my inner self trying to talk some sense to me, or a combination of both, shoot maybe it was God, but what originally started off as enticing and sexy, to say the least, turned into me feeling sick to my stomach. I felt rather awkward and began to think to myself.

What good is great dick if it comes with lies, confusion, and heartbreak? What good are lavish gifts if they come with entitlement and no respect. What good is money if you have to compromise who you are at the core to obtain it. What good is that high paying job if the work environment is toxic and literally tearing at your self worth or mental space. What good are thousands of followers and fame if you feel empty inside? Need I go on? You get it. Disclaimer, if an uneasy mind is due to underlying mental health issues, then it’s out of our control and we must not be afraid to seek professional help. But if it is not, understand that health is wealth and so is our peace of mind. A healthy mental space has got to be a priority. Maybe the things mentioned aren’t what contribute to you having a restless mind. None the less, it’s important we pinpoint what it currently is or may be and avoid it. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the notion that money, among other tangible things, are a cure all and will bring happiness. I’m not rich, but I can easily think back on a few moments where I thought receiving a certain amount of money or a specific item would fix a situation and it didn’t. I had to get to the root of the issue. The underlying issue that was making me lose sleep and wasn’t sitting well with my soul. This being stated, make your mental health a priority, choose peace!

xoxo

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Fall Back and Spring Forward

shaniselene

As the mark to make a month slowly approaches since I’ve been on a social media hiatus, I’m sad to say that it’s coming to an end. I’d be lying if I said that waking up carefree and not having to check notifications, direct messages or insights hasn’t been refreshing to say the least. I’ve gained so much clarity on specific situations pertaining to business endeavors, business relationships, friendships, school and I’ve learned so much about myself.

Even though my desire to return to social media has dwindled, it’s imperative to my growth as an entrepreneur. I’ve been blessed to obtain additional clients from sharing my content online. I’ve also had the opportunity to meet like minded individuals in the same field.

The most challenging part about my break was accepting the fact that even though I confirmed my perception on this virtual world that we’re so engulfed in, which I already knew, I must admit that it has played an important part in allowing myself to see all of the positive aspects that people see in me. There is nothing more fulfilling than knowing that you can not only encourage, but influence others to be the best they can be, solely by being yourself.

Self awareness is one thing, but when you come to a sudden realization and everything starts coming together, it all makes sense. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, pressured, confused and what to find out the people who are truly in your corner, unplug from everyone and everything. When it’s time for you to make your return, you’ll come back recharged, refreshed and ready to conquer!

About, Careers, Community, Faith, Health, Lifestyle, Opinions, Thoughts of a Black Girl, Uncategorized, Urban Issues

Unplugged

shaniselene

As you mature, life forces you to make tough decisions and if you’re anything like me, that isn’t necessarily your favorite thing to do. The year 2018 has advanced technology like no other, especially social media. While most enjoy snapping selfies, fulfilling their self esteem based on the number of views and likes they receive, I take pleasure in the moments that aren’t captured.

Earlier in the week, I experienced a mental breakdown, that I’m ashamed to admit that was linked to my social media platform that had me considering to delete my page. About (2) years ago, my instagram had 600 followers; fast forwarding to today, I’m at 6,000. The irony in this is that I had no intentions on growing my page, let alone indulging in blogging. Due to my oblivion of what was taking place, I hadn’t realized the type of community I was creating solely by being myself. Whether it was posting a picture with an inspiring caption, displaying ways to be proactive in achieving your goals, offering workouts to remain fit or sharing words of encouragement to my story, I related to my followers in some form or fashion.

Regardless of Instagram’s new algorithm, supplying your audience with what they want to see is critical to your success (based on society’s standards). About a month ago, 54% of my audience were men and 46% were women varying from the ages of 18-35. Since I’ve started my medical school journey, I’ve been touching base on the meetings I attend within my medical organization, clinical rotations at the hospital, shadowing sessions with various physicians, as well as my skincare services that I offer as an esthetician on my platform. Most have taken well to it, but some have been requesting more workout videos, makeup tips and stories where I demonstrate how I meal prep. Although I haven’t disregarded these requests, I’m aware of the importance of having a niche and being consistent.

What was the point of the backstory of my mini meltdown you may ask? Although I’m a firm believer of putting yourself first when it comes to your mental health, I’m a softy when it comes to those who seek advise and look for direction. That’s been my biggest battle thus far. Although I experience so much bliss when I’m not utilizing social media and enjoying the moment rather than capturing it, in the back of my mind, I think about those who look for my opinion. Yes, I believe in doing things for me, but I genuinely have a love for helping others. I’ve spent so much more time with God and have obtained the ability to hear him more clearly. On the contrary, I’ve received calls, texts and notifications of people checking on me and inquiring where I’ve gone. Keep in mind that it hasn’t been a full week, yet people have noticed. While that is a positive aspect and this decision has shown me who my true friends are, I still have to maneuver in a fashion conducive to my health. I encourage anyone experiencing similar emotions to take a break, unplug and refrain from feeling pressured to continue to do what you think you should be doing because the majority is doing it. I am so thankful that I have a fulfilling life outside of my platforms and don’t seek for validation from others compared to those who do. I haven’t made a final decision as far as when or if I’ll make a return. I’ve prayed and plan on fasting for an answer, but until then, you’ll just have to stay tuned.

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Sacrificing Your Friends For Your Future

shaniselene

It’s important to monitor your inner circle when it comes to pursuing your goals in life. One of the hardest realities I’ve faced has been learning to let go of individuals that have exceeded their expiration date. I used to be one of those people who held onto relationships (both platonic and romantic) based on the amount of time the person has been in my life.

After various events that took place within a friendship of mine, I realized that outgrowing people is a part of life and accepted the fact that everyone isn’t meant to come along during certain parts of my journey. If you care for your loved ones as much as I do, then you’ll understand why this decision wasn’t an easy one. There will be some people that take offense to your choice because they either don’t understand or don’t want to put in the effort to understand that you all may be growing apart and going separate paths.

One of my biggest mistakes were allowing some of those people to make me feel guilty for growing, for becoming the woman I am and wanting more for myself. Rather than encouraging me, I was ignored, called conceited and selfish. They were wrong about every description except classifying me as, “selfish”.  Even though I’m not a self absorbed person, for the past (6) months I’ve been extremely selfish with my funds, time and things I put my energy into. They say that your 20’s are the perfect time to think about yourself.  This is the time to make decisions for yourself and highly consider what’s best for you; it isn’t the time to settle. 

After having an epiphany and grasping what that concept really meant, I no longer felt the need to apologize for the decisions I’ve been making. I quickly learned that my true friends who genuinely supported me resided in different parts of the world. Sometimes we get so caught up on accessibility and fail to realize that just because something is available and tangible doesn’t always mean it’s in our best interest.

You want to ensure that those around you call you to the carpet when you’re slacking. Your friends must be able to hold you accountable for your actions even when they aren’t the best. They need to have the ability to feed your spirit and pour into you when you don’t have the energy to do it for yourself. 

In no way, shape or form am I telling you to drop your, “day 1’s”. However, I do encourage you to decipher who your are keeping in your life, why you are keeping them in your life and if they deserve to stay.

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For the Love of Medicine

shaniselene

I recently began my clinical rotations at Florida Hospital this past week and although shadowing is not a requirement, it makes your medical school resume more competitive. This experience not only has altered my perception of life, but I’ve gained a newfound appreciation for my well being. Seeing numerous people with a variety of chronic illnesses and diseases opened my eyes to the lack of knowledge surrounding health. 

One patient in particular has been battling sickle cell disease for their entire life; she’s forty years old and a mother of two. Along with excruciating joint pain and body aches, she was also in need of an oxygen mask due to having difficulty breathing. Thankfully, she has the support of her parents to assist with her illness and children, but I can only imagine her daily stressors.

It’s sometimes hard to fathom why bad things happen to good people, but unfortunately, that is life. There is no easy way to accept these circumstances, but this is what makes the job of a physician special because they have the ability to either find cures or assist with prolonging the life of the patient. This experience has further much confirmed my reasoning to pursue my specialty of interest because it breaks my heart to see those in pain. Dermatology not only allows me to educate others about skin care and assist with clearing their skin, but empower them and build their self confidence.

I highly advise those of you who are premed students or anyone interested in pursuing a career in the medical field to not only shadow at a private practice, but at an actual hospital. It will allow you to see what you’re interested in, as well as what you can and can’t handle. Being a medical professional includes having to keep your composure even during high stress situations. If you have a genuine passion to help those and love medicine, then go for it. Yes it will be a challenging journey, but the outcome will be rewarding.

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Women to Know Wednesday: Social Media Influencer & Hair Product Line Creator Lianne D.

Sandré

“No cosmetology training, purely operating off of passion,” Meet Lianne. She is the Creator of ChroniCurls, a platform dedicated to taking you through her natural hair journey, and the mind and owner behind the hair product line Pop! Curl Color. Her decision to go natural came about during pregnancy. She wasn’t sure whether or not relaxed hair upkeep was good for the baby at the time and knew that soon would come the time to do her baby girl’s hair. What started as simply documenting this journey via YouTube and Instagram five years ago has now generated a very large following and her making a name for herself in the cosmetology business realm, enhancing multiple curl patterns at a time with homemade products! She is originally from Danville, VA, but as an Airforce wife has done a lot of moving.

What inspired your transition from relaxed hair to going natural?

“At the time I decided to go natural I was pregnant with my daughter. I didn’t know if relaxers were good for her and I thought about how my mom always took me to the salon. I told myself I need to know how to do my daughter’s hair.”

What led to you sharing this transition with the public?

“I got comfortable with styling my natural hair and wanted to document it. It was also during the time that blogs like Curly Nikki and natural hair YouTubers were becoming more popular.”

What was your why in creating Pop! Curl Color?

“I wasn’t satisfied with other temporary hair colors on the market. I felt other products made the hair dry, so I wanted something that was fun and colorful but moisturizing and defining at the same time.”

What does Pop! Curl Color do for our hair?

“My products are temporary hair color and curl products.”

Are there any FDA regulations or testing that have to be followed when creating and selling hair products?

“No specific FDA regulations for cosmetic products but they do have strong recommendations. It also depends on your specific state’s regulations.”

When did you realize hair care and creating such products was a passion?

“When I realized I loved creating content about it on my YouTube channel & blog. I loved doing my hair. I loved the feeling I would feel when I would edit a video and it would come out exactly how I wanted it to.”

“My viewpoint on beauty and hair in general began to change and that’s when I realized I wanted to make natural hair a part of my life.”

What were some initial thoughts prior to kicking everything off, business wise?

“Initially I thought I would end up sticking to youtube, full time, and eventually making money off of that, but it didn’t work out that way. I had been sitting on this idea for a year and something told me to simply work on my own product when I had time. A few months ago I was able to launch it.”

Any initial fears prior to going forward with your products?

“Uncertainty had me super scared. I knew the concept was good, but I didn’t know if people would like it. I had never started a business before and also because I already had the large following on other social media platforms, I thought if it failed everybody would know!”

And how did you overcome these fears?

“It was a lot of prayer. I’m also in a groupchat with other bloggers. We all have similar interests. One day I went in the chat and told them what I was feeling, and they were all just so encouraging, as well as my husband.”

“Having somebody else to hold me accountable for what I said I was going to do pushed me over the edge.”

Advice for those interested in entering the cosmetology realm but hesitant due to uncertainty, no school training, or afraid of failing?

“Do your research, ask questions, and just do it! Everything doesn’t have to be perfect. I was recently reading something that said “Launch it broken. Fix it live.” So even its not perfect go ahead and just do it. Launch it and continue to work on it as it goes along, because if you’re waiting for it to be perfect, it’ll never launch.”

Describe to me a typical Pop! Curl Color day or week.

“Pretty busy. I make the gel at home. I take a day I’m not working and make what I think I’ll need for the next week or two. Two days out of the week I spend packing and shipping. I have a process in place to stay organized so that when I’m off and my kids are home I can keep my attention on them.”

Personal strength that you feel have contributed to the success of Pop! Curl Color?

“I am very flexible, business and personal life wise, because things are not going to always go the way I want them to but I have to be quick coming up with another plan.”

Are your products for all hair textures ?

“My products are for all wavy, curly, and kinky hair types.”

Biggest accomplishment thus far from all of this?

“My biggest fear was people wouldn’t like it or understand it, so I’m proud that people really like it. I get really excited when customers send me pictures. It validates the idea behind the business to begin with and makes me feel good. I want women to like it and feel good about their hair.”

Lianne’s advice for those interested in making such products is to do your research, test other products, know what it is that you want, and to join online groups and websites that will guide you into launching your own products.

Outside of being an entrepreneur and using her social media platforms to influence and promote her products you can find Lianne exercising, enjoying the outdoors, online shopping, and being an Airforce wife as well an amazing mother to two beautiful kids! She also received a Bachelors degree from the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill and a Masters in Health Sciences from Duke University. Her background is in medicine and she currently works part time as a Physician Assistant out of Alaska. If you’re natural and looking for quality products to enhance your curl pattern and add temporary color you should definitely follow her social media platforms!

chronicurls.com

Instagram: @chronicurls

Youtube, subscribe!

Dating, Faith, Featured, Lifestyle, Love, Opinions, Relationships, Sex, Thoughts of a Black Girl, Urban Issues

Relationships Don’t Solve Your Problems, They Magnify Who You Really Are

shaniselene

As the year progresses, “Relationships” seem to become the topic of everyone’s conversation. There’s not a day that goes by where I scroll through my feed or timeline on my social media handles and someone is either begging, complaining or yearning for a relationship. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a significant other, but there are a variety of factors that most forget to consider.

Having a partner extends beyond cute Instagram pictures, videos and wearing matching outfits. If the goal is marriage, this person needs to be able to befriend you, confide in you, pray for you (depending on your beliefs) and help you grow into a better person while you reciprocate those same abilities. When negative factors are presented, you all need to take the time out to make an effort to fix the issue. While infidelity is a deal breaker for myself, I always encourage those who’ve endured this form of trauma to see if this is an area they can work through; if it’s fixable or worth it? Based on experience, most people assume that marriage is the answer to all solutions, when in fact that it is the total opposite. It simply uncovers who you both are as individuals , so if underlying issues persist either between the two of you or within yourselves, the marriage is likely to suffer.

In regards to underlying issues, insecurities are common factors. Many people don’t realize how their self esteem and confidence levels will impact their partner and dynamic of the relationship. We all suffer from things that we’d either like to change or aren’t content about, but what we must understand is until we love ourselves wholeheartedly, we will look for that same love within our partner. They will never be able to grant you that type of satisfaction because you all need to come together as (2) whole people; think of your partner as an asset rather than a need, therefore the element of codependency is nonexistent.

Unions are such a beautiful thing, however, good things come to those who wait. Don’t ever allow your impatience to rush you into a situation to satisfy temporary desires. Prepare and position yourself to be loved and to be received. While you’re waiting cultivate you, allow yourself to flourish, mold your craft so you can thrive and remember to enjoy your singleness because once the love of your life arrives, it’s no longer about you.

Beauty, Community, Lifestyle, Motivation, Opinions, Thoughts of a Black Girl, Urban Issues

Confidence Is Skin Deep

shaniselene

From adolescence, women are taught that beauty is vital. It’s attractive and the key to gaining a man’s attention, but what about confidence? Whether it’s on television, radio, magazines or social media, we are subconsciously reminded that beauty is heavily based upon the external. While most of us may be saying, “I’m confident with or without makeup”, but we all know there has been a point in time where we’ve felt the complete opposite.

Other than a pasty complexion, I take pride in a fresh face because it is all natural. Based on my past experiences, every person I’ve ever been involved with has either said they prefer me without makeup or I don’t need it. Although that isn’t enough to cease my cosmetic application completely, there is something liberating that comes along with wanting to wear makeup, but not needing to. During the recovery period from one of the biggest allergic reactions I’ve ever experienced, I had epiphany and realized my self confidence was at the lowest it has ever been.

I’ve never had acne or problematic skin, so acquiring contact dermatitis from a cosmetic product that I’ve been using for the last (5) years gave me the opportunity to empathize with those who do.  Who knew that having red spots on your face could affect how you felt about yourself overall? Regardless if they are temporary, the biggest issue was that I was uncomfortable because I’ve never experienced this before.

Even though this was a new feeling, I am a grateful for what I endured because it made me realize that I also had superior confidence within myself when everything was normal, but my self-esteem was questioned upon signs of trouble. I also learned that we tend to make things greater than what they are due to being self-conscious. Either people didn’t notice or my imperfections were insignificant because it did not prevent them looking or coming up and speaking to me. This was a clear indication that I was overthinking the entire situation and that I started relying on my exterior versus what I have to offer from within. This is no excuse, but it’s easier said than done when you are constantly reminded of your outer beauty.

This is why I encourage makeup free days for those who are uncomfortable without makeup. At the end of the day, you have to be happy with your reflection when you look in the mirror. I feel blessed to have self confidence with or without makeup, but I’m also thankful that I had this recent experience because it displayed my true self, gave me more confidence because it reminded me that I am more than my aesthetics and humbled me. The moment you’re able to feel as good as you do as you look on the outside, it’s like you become a whole new woman.

Dating, Lifestyle, Love, Opinions, Relationships, Sex, Thoughts of a Black Girl, Urban Issues

Distance or No Distance?

shaniselene

Long distance relationships are extremely common in 2018 and only continue to grow as the state of social media improves. My experiences regarding distant relationships were actually pleasant. Our geographical location in which we each were was the only con; initially. At that current point in time, I was a junior in college, looking forward to graduation and my post graduate endeavors. I took pride in going to see my boyfriend at the time because it meant traveling, free food, being spoiled with additional attention and most importantly, quality time.

While I’d love to blame the distance between us for our breakup, it shared no responsibility. It was one of those things where two people who were madly in love needed time to grow and come into their own. As heartbreaking as the decision would be  for most, it was one of those things that you necessarily did not want to do, but had to.  Fortunately, it worked out for the best. We are still friends, support one another and the best part is, genuine love is still there. Although I’m unsure of what the future may hold, I’m happy with the current state of my life and can’t wait to see what God has in store for me.

Now that I’m 24 years of age, I view relationships on an entire new level. I wholeheartedly believe that long distant relationships are doable, however, both parties must put in the effort. This includes having the understanding that finances must be taken into consideration for travel and the frequency in which you all are visiting one another. In situations such as this, communication is key due to the fact that you aren’t able to physically see one another. That being said, take advantage of video chat options like FaceTime or Skype.

I aspire to be a wife and I’m currently praying for constant preparation, which is why I’ve come to the realization that whether my next relationship is distant or takes place in the same vicinity, it all boils down to my significant other and I being on one accord. Is marriage the goal, are they family oriented, can they pray for me and pray to God to seek guidance in a time of uncertainty? I sometimes feel as if women have the tendency to get caught up on a checklist of what they expect relationships to be and tend to complicate things when they can be so simple. Men aren’t as difficult as we make them seem and typically know if you’re the one or someone they can see themselves with within 6 months.

If you’ve met someone in which you share an instant connection, have undeniable chemistry with, whose morals align with yours, can have fun with and enjoy each other’s company while doing absolutely nothing, but your relationship may have to start off distant initially, give it a try. If you all are serious about one another, you will make it a point to relocate to an area that fits the both of your needs. Where there’s a will, there’s a way and if he truly wants it, he’ll go after it (you).