Author: Ke'Anna B

My name is Ke’Anna Boyd, a graduate student at Full Sail University majoring in New Media Journalism. My journey as a blogger started a year ago. I had just graduated from Bethune-Cookman University with my BA in Mass Communications with an emphasis in Broadcast Journalism. It was a struggle so I decided to start blogging. This meant my own hours, I was in charge of what I produced and this was an easier way to vent to the world without being judged. I was a victim of low self-esteem and I had horrible luck with dating. I decided to channel all of that sadness and anger into my blogging. You are now looking at The Modern Black Girl’s Love and Relationships blogger. I have so much in store for you. I have gone through just about everything. Break-ups to makeup, aggressive behavior, raising my significant other, being used and even had horrible experiences in the bedroom. So trust me I’m here for it all. If you have any questions, are looking for advice or simply want me to cover a specific topic please feel free to contact me at womenrpower@gmail.com. Remember you are a QUEEN!
Dating, Love, Relationships

Couple Pep Talks-Are they necessary?

Ke'Anna B

I’ve been going through some relationship issues that I am unsure I can fix. Lately, the arguments are repetitive. I continue to have to remind him to say I love you before leaving. Or to say good morning and good night when we wake up and before we go to sleep. Those conversations aren’t what seems to be bothering me though. What I can’t understand is why I have to repeat myself when it comes to means of cheating and disrespect. Talking to your ex? No go. Discussions with that woman that we all know can’t wait until I slip so she can slide, no go. Flirting with a female that follows me and likes our pictures. (in my Cardi B voice lol) Why? If the tables were turned, would you men be able to stand your woman making moves like you have in those scenarios? I doubt it. So let’s be real, why are you doing it? Okayyyy let me backup because I am going pretty hard. A girl can vent can’t she? That’s what I have you all for right? The feeling is mutual. In the meantime, here’s a question to ponder on while I talk my trash, should you have to have a conversation with your significant other on what is considered cheating? Don’t try to get shy now. Come back to this screen NOW!

 

Keywords: “Have” and “To”

 

Now I will contradict myself in a minute for a good cause so here it goes. For those of you that say you don’t feel you have to:

 

How in the hell is he/she supposed to know what “YOU” deem cheating or even inappropriate if you all never shared that with one another? How in the hell will he/she know not to speak to their ex they’ve been friends with for years, with you knowing, if you do not say “Hey Jack, Jill needs to slide. I don’t feel comfortable with my man/woman communicate with their ex when we are building our own empire at the time.” Simple. Now I never said his/her response back would be simple but the amount of time it took you to say that is the amount of time it will take for you to karate chop them in the throat when they proceed to try that sh*t again. Wtbs, tell they ass, tell they ass. So when you are mad you actually have a reason to be.

For those of you that say you do feel like the conversation should be had:

Why? Girl for what? That is a grown ass man/woman. Did they drop the manual in your mailbox and hire you to administer the cheating course? I think not. We have to tighten up. Repeating ourselves 1 time is cool but 2 or 3 times we are finding ourselves sounding like pure robots. Aren’t you tired? I remember really sitting around thinking of ways to repeat what I said in this disagreement last week. Ugh. That shit does get tiring, sometimes necessary. But for the most part it’s a waste of time. They should know basic home training, welp apply that to your daily life and with this cheating topic. Girlfriend. Not a mother. Nurturing tendencies but not a MOTHER. Not a home girl/home boy. Not a big cousin. A girlfriend/wife that is learning and figuring things out too. So I do double the work because you can’t get right Mr. Get Right? Lol Okay okay I’ll stop picking on you all. Seriously though, it’s not an OBLIGATION NOR A TASK so wtbs, chill out he should know what it is from jump. Period!

 

Now let’s keep it 100, what would you say?

Dating, Relationships, Sex, Uncategorized

Living Single

Ke'Anna B

I know I’m not the only one that feels like being single is weird. It does and it’s like “what do I do next?” What do we do next? Go to happy hour, sit cute and catch a vibe with a fine thang. Have a one night stand why not? It’s easier said than done. I think when women become single we focus more on ourselves. We start to evaluate all that we need to do in order to keep our last bit of peace of mind if you haven’t lost it all. We really start to love thyself. It’s crazy because break-ups are always connected to disconnection, miscommunication/no communication and things we possibly won’t ever forgive. But now I look at break-ups as lessons. Whether that is for you all to get yourselves together and brings those STRONG, INDEPENDENT forces together. Or be completely done with one another so you can prosper accordingly without them. We are starting to use grind time as the getaway instead of taking a bite out of Mr. Chocolate at the bar. We are smart as hell, you better ask about us.

 

It’s like I just got out a relationship, why do I need to jump right back in? I need space to breath. Find myself again. But damn focusing so much on myself made me a little lonely. And just like that you’ve got your first example on “how single life sucks!” I’m quite sure a few of you are wondering “how did you just say you all of those things about focus on yourselves you don’t need…” I know but you get what I’m saying. That single life hits you at night. Low key it hits me all of the damn time when I least expect it. ZESTYYYYY! Zesty means having the urge to have some hot and steamy sex. Now if I’m single how likely is this going to be happening? Ladies that aren’t concerned with getting some, what about cuddling? Many guys don’t cuddle with women especially while they are single. It shows to much affection for those that are not. Which leaves us zesty, thirsty and about to die from lack of attention and butt rubs. We hold you all completely and utterly accountable. Lol.

 

All jokes aside how easy do you think being a single, black woman is? That was a serious question. I’ll sit that right there. I’ve always wanted to know what you all “thought” we did and/or do while we are single. Perhaps, drink our little lives away? Yeah? Some of us but womp, womp wrong again. Men in the building keep it funky with your girl, when your ex gets back on the market, for those that care, what do you think she’s doing? Now I want to make this as fun and cranked up as possible. Keep it cute and don’t be rude! Drop comments below!

Love, Sex, Uncategorized

Sex Drive

Ke'Anna B

“Get it girl. Get it girl.” My favorite thing to say while I get into bed with my silk “do me baby” lingerie set. It’s been a while and I might seem a little nervous but I’m not. We all need a little pressure in our chest, you know what I mean right? I was having a conversation with my brother yesterday and he had the audacity to say “women don’t NEED sex.” No, playa playa a** dudes are the ones that need to lay off the goodies a bit. I’m getting mine, I don’t know about you.

It’s been 3 long days since Ashton and I got freaky. The longest days of my life to be completely honest. Nobody should ever have to suffer the way that I have. Head hurts, edges are thinning out and my big booty jeans not fitting. I’m sick! HELP! As a woman, there are specific WANTS that I have. You think Ashton is the only one using those whips and chains. Look at my face right now…

*waits for you all to look at me*

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Is it a crime to be a woman that enjoys sex just as much as her man does? Or gets that tingle in between her thighs when her man does something simple like licks his lips? I mean that’s the same as me bending over in my shorts on and you “ouuuu” and “aww” at the site of it. The same morning sex meme’s and gif’s of a girl clapping those cheeks together are the same kinds of meme’s I’m retweeting at 3am. I want to be the girl clapping her cheeks for Zaddy. I mean, why not?

I hear people screaming all of the time “A lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets.” But as soon as I tell you my biggest fantasy or what scene I want us to role-play, I’m not being ladylike. Yeah, just as I thought. I only partake in ladylike activities between 8am-6pm. Just kidding, just kidding but kind of serious. Lol. Face it guys, women are just as horny as you men maybe even MORE. Let’s argue a bit? Do you really think men are the ONLY people that can have a high sex drive and want to hump like a rabbit? I think absolutely not.

The amount of time and effort that we spend on Fashion Nova buying their bad and boujie lingerie and trying to find my size on Vicki Secret, I deserve to bless you with all of this chocolate. Seriously though I need you all to understand that you are not the rulers of sex. It’s enough tricks, flips and handstands to go around. We are not taking away from your sex life just simply making it more interesting. So get your panties out of a bunch and face the facts. Women are about to take over the sex game. Women may not NEED sex but we want, crave and dream about sex just as you all do. 

-xoxo

 

Dating, Love, Relationships, TheMBG, Uncategorized

#Relationship Goals

Ke'Anna B

We have taken the expression #relationshipgoals a tad bit too far, don’t you think? What happened to long walks on the beach, a romantic dinner, opening a car door or even sending roses? Does that still account for anything? Isn’t this closer to a relationship goal than a guy posting pictures with money stuck to his ear? Oh you’re “talking to the money” right? Well, well, well… Society has definitely played a major role in the way many of us view past twitter trending topic #relationshipgoals.

Again, I’m not saying women don’t have “real” relationship goals either but some of these things are questionable. Society makes us believe that you have to be decked out in diamonds and pearls. Smh. Lucci, Lucci, Lucci. Or the hype of going on trips to countries you cannot pronounce, to impress others. You know the saying “if you can’t spell it, you shouldn’t eat it”. Exactly. This definitely applies.

Don’t get me wrong if you have it, flaunt it. If you worked hard for it, you deserve it. The idea that money and materialistic things make up the true definition of relationship goals, is up for a debate! If that is your take on a relationship goal then more power to you but there are still some simple things in life that seem more suit. Have you ever been attracted to someone that just graduated? Not because they look good in their $300 graduation outfit but because they have a 4.0 GPA and you have the sexiest intellectual conversations with them?

What about that guy that everybody talks about at the job because his car is steady overheating? Did you know he has been in a relationship for 6 years? Did you know he kept his overheating car because he wanted to buy his “fiancee” an engagement ring? Did you know the guy who had the stack of money on Snapchat last week still lives with his mom? She doesn’t live in the best neighborhood either. Yet, he still manages to wear red bottoms and get new rental cars each week.

Honestly, these are the type of things that should play a major part in #relationshipgoals. Especially the type of person you would like to have #reltionshipgoals with. What are you all bringing or have already brought to the table that doesn’t involve money or anything materialistic?

Food for thought…..

 

Dating, Love, Relationships, Uncategorized

Are You Foolish For Staying?

Ke'Anna B

Does staying in a relationship after being cheated on make you dumb?

Today was just one of those days. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. See last night we got into the worst disagreement. It wasn’t just our typical “you’re so inconsiderate of my feelings” argument this time. We were on the verge of a break-up. Was I not doing enough? Is working a 9 to 5 with overtime not sexy? A strong black woman taking on responsibility was supposed to make me a winner. But at this very moment I did not feel that way. So I went through his phone about 5 pm yesterday. Only to find that he wasn’t at that so called “study session”. He was with Tommy. Tommy is on my “eh, haven’t figured you out yet” list. He’s far from a prince charming. I just knew he would let Tommy be the one to get him caught up. Anyway, I start going through the thread. We have screenshots of Tommy and his little sexting chronicles, pictures of dumb guy stuff and…. snap-chat screenshots.

This is when I started getting pissed off. Please tell me I’m not about to find him cheating. After scroll…and scrolling…and scrolling… I see that the conversation has been going on for some time now. At this point it is 6:15 pm. You’re wondering how I managed to find this huh? It wasn’t hard. Trust. Or at least when you pretend to trust one another. He has nothing to hide so he says. So every so often he allows me to take a peak. This time he didn’t have time to delete his messages. Yay me! I know it’s a lot but just bare with me. So I see some girl he claims is his “sister”. Eh I’m not buying it. How could I, when all I saw was explicit videos and pictures? The best part about my little investigation was her saving their messages from her end. Of course snapchat would allow you to save messages even if the other person does not care to. Smh. Snapchat has become the official dead zone. It is a trap, though I am grateful for it in this case.

So after I see the pictures I send him this extremely long message. His read receipts are on so I know he got my message. He read it at 7’oclock. At this point, I’m not feeling this late texting back. The way I feel it’s about to go down, right here, right now. I ask straight up, “what is going on?” He responds “Look…” “Nope, stop it right there.” I say. I begin to read him from A to Z. No shortcuts or holding back. I’m going full throttle on my Kill Bill vibe. Im beyond upset. All he says is “I’m sorry.” I’m sorry? Really? Do you know he had the audacity to say to me that he feels unloved. Unloved? *pause*

Okay so where were we? Right, this foolery. Am I getting left for another woman? So I start asking questions, as we do when we are upset and do not like the answer we were given. Yeah, like that. He says he doesn’t know if he wants to change his mind. Okay so I decided to leave the details on how I begged him not to leave me. Kill me with the know your worth crap because in this very instant I’m hurt. I want my man to stay. Maybe I can hear him out and figure how to fix things. Was it even fixable? So after a 4 hour conversation he decided he needed a break. Probably needed to go fill Tommy’s no good behind in. It’s not like he’s going to say anything. He likes to stay out of it when it gets too heated. Even when it is his fault, in a way.  

He texts me back insisting we should talk. So I immediately Facetimed him. I need to see facial expressions. I need to feel what direction the conversation is going in. We started with the usual small talk, discuss how bad things got and he said if I could change then we could be together. He’d let her go for me. So I said “I’ll change.” He did not hesitate to say “Good, I didn’t want to lose you anyway.” On the plus side, we have been together for 9 months since that incident. No signs of cheating. No funny business after she cut chick off. We are doing great! I’m glad I stayed, unfortunately, my friends keep saying I’m dumb for staying. There was something in me that wouldn’t allow me to leave him.. I love that man.

So the question is:

Does staying in a relationship after being cheated on make you dumb?