Featured, Motivation, Opinions, Thoughts of a Black Girl

Mind over matter – Do you see the good in every situation or do you see the worse?

What type of mindset do you have? Do you see the good in every situation or do you see the worse? When things aren’t going your way or you are unsatisfied, do you actively take steps to try and fix it or do you complain with no action. Voicing our concerns and dislikes is normal. Some of us do it more than usual, but nonetheless it is normal. The questions we must ask ourselves however are, “what am I doing to change this? “Am I actively looking for better?” and “Am I working towards a solution behind the scenes as I work my way up?” The way you approach a task, circumstance, or whatever may be in this life can make or break you.

I’m aware that life at times is unfair. Some events that transpire are unavoidable, are by no means our fault, and run deeper than a mind over matter concept. Some events require outside help and will take time to regain an optimistic mental space. But for the events that fall outside of these boundaries, focusing in on how to use what transpired to your advantage or remaining optimistic is everything.

Despite the interview going well, you didn’t get the job. Are you going to stop applying for jobs and dwell on that specific rejection? The relationship didn’t work out. Are you going to divert all your energy into trying to make him or her pay and never love again? Felicia said your head was big. Are you going to wear sun hats all through November? NO!!! How you react, the mindset you willingly take on amidst the sickness, the downfall, or certain circumstances will either be fuel to your triumph or ammo for things to only get worse. Keep your head up and push through. Exercise your willpower. You may not have control of every situation, but you are your own person and you do have control over your mindset. Tap into your determination.

Reflect on what you felt went wrong during the interview or what you can do to be better or more prepared for the one to come. Get your resume looked over again. Watch a YouTube video on how to answer common tricky questions.

(P.S. before my “how to answer so and so question” YouTube binge, my go to answer for the infamous “what is a weakness” question, I would always answer that I’m a perfectionist! According to my findings, this is actually a pretty awful response!)

Heartbreak sucks, but I assure you trying to hurt them back only counteracts your blessings to come and is a waste of time, entirely. Re-adjust your mental lenses and refocus. Reclaim your time by doing things that make you smile, bring you closer to your goals, or be a service to others (give back!). Love will find you again.

Flaunt your God given features. One person will say “she ain’t that cute” the next will say “she fine as hell!” We are all ugly to somebody and we all fine to somebody as well. Such is life. Nonetheless, whatever the next person may think will not change who you are. Embrace your uniqueness, own your sexiness. Subscribe to blogs or other social media platforms that don’t solely display European beauty standards, but embraces all shades, features, and sizes!

You control where your energy and efforts go. Feed your willpower! Mind over matter, because everything doesn’t matter and your mindset is such a powerful thing.

Happy Monday! The end of July is here, and August is  right around the corner and I hope it’s nothing short of amazing.



Beauty, Community, Lifestyle, Motivation, Opinions, Thoughts of a Black Girl, Urban Issues

Confidence Is Skin Deep

From adolescence, women are taught that beauty is vital. It’s attractive and the key to gaining a man’s attention, but what about confidence? Whether it’s on television, radio, magazines or social media, we are subconsciously reminded that beauty is heavily based upon the external. While most of us may be saying, “I’m confident with or without makeup”, but we all know there has been a point in time where we’ve felt the complete opposite.

Other than a pasty complexion, I take pride in a fresh face because it is all natural. Based on my past experiences, every person I’ve ever been involved with has either said they prefer me without makeup or I don’t need it. Although that isn’t enough to cease my cosmetic application completely, there is something liberating that comes along with wanting to wear makeup, but not needing to. During the recovery period from one of the biggest allergic reactions I’ve ever experienced, I had epiphany and realized my self confidence was at the lowest it has ever been.

I’ve never had acne or problematic skin, so acquiring contact dermatitis from a cosmetic product that I’ve been using for the last (5) years gave me the opportunity to empathize with those who do.  Who knew that having red spots on your face could affect how you felt about yourself overall? Regardless if they are temporary, the biggest issue was that I was uncomfortable because I’ve never experienced this before.

Even though this was a new feeling, I am a grateful for what I endured because it made me realize that I also had superior confidence within myself when everything was normal, but my self-esteem was questioned upon signs of trouble. I also learned that we tend to make things greater than what they are due to being self-conscious. Either people didn’t notice or my imperfections were insignificant because it did not prevent them looking or coming up and speaking to me. This was a clear indication that I was overthinking the entire situation and that I started relying on my exterior versus what I have to offer from within. This is no excuse, but it’s easier said than done when you are constantly reminded of your outer beauty.

This is why I encourage makeup free days for those who are uncomfortable without makeup. At the end of the day, you have to be happy with your reflection when you look in the mirror. I feel blessed to have self confidence with or without makeup, but I’m also thankful that I had this recent experience because it displayed my true self, gave me more confidence because it reminded me that I am more than my aesthetics and humbled me. The moment you’re able to feel as good as you do as you look on the outside, it’s like you become a whole new woman.

Education, Motivation, Thoughts of a Black Girl

It’s Time

“I can’t wait to grow up!”

A common phrase each of us used when we were younger and didn’t get our way with utter attitude underneath our breaths. Whether it was I wasn’t allowed to go to a friend’s house when I wanted to or I simply wanted to do something I knew I shouldn’t be doing.



But now at 21, wrapping up my junior year in college I am all of sudden hit with the reality that it’s time. It’s time to move on and enter the real adult world. The thing that I craved so badly as a child is something that frightens me as an adult.

Am I ready for adulthood?


No but really though?


Am I really prepared to go to work from 9-5 and then come home, go to the gym, hangout with a few friends and have to be at 7 am the next morning and do it all over again?


Am I ready for it?

“Adulting” a phrase that I’ve come to realize the older generations hate but a term that accurately describes so much of our lives as young black women. You’re learning to adult. There’s no manual to show you how to do it. There’s no rule book you can reference whenever things get difficult.



You’re in this!


Now real life starts.

It’s now where we learn how to navigate the world for ourselves. Our challenges are now our own and our success are that much better. Our failures have far worst consequences than simply telling our parents we got a C in math. I’m often shook at the fact that more often than not, we’re not really taught how to be an adult. It’s one of those things where you just start inch-ing out there and then eventually you find your footing.

Not saying you won’t stumble or fall flat on your face sometimes but it’s the journey that’s the most important. It’s what you learn along the way and how you take those lessons and implement them into your life.


Are you ready?

Beauty, Business, Careers, Lifestyle, Style, Uncategorized

Babe On A Budget

As a fashionable modernista, it’s an absolute necessity to have my monthly mani-pedi. Depending on the color, length, polish and style desired, nail appointments can become quite pricey. Before you know it, you’re spending $80.00 per salon visit; not including the tip. I’m not sure about you, but I feel incomplete when my nails aren’t done. As a post undergraduate adulting while prepping for school, it’s very important that I keep my expenses at bay. After a painful visit that caused nail damage and searching for a less expensive alternative, I resorted to doing my manicures myself. I purchased a box of colorless nail extensions as well as my favorite, “Miracle Gel” polish by Sally Hansen and shaped my nails to my liking. The process may take more time, but I’m in total control of how I care and style my nails. The best part about this, “DIY” project is that it only cost $12.00!

Although I am thankful for my form of employment and level of income, I’m a firm believer that it is in your best interest to live beneath your means when the end result is to build your career while investing. This may include skipping a retail therapy day at the mall or substituting your high end boutique with a local clothing store. If you’re like me, thrifting has always been my go-to when I want to save a dollar all while channeling a vintage style. Every event or invitation brought to your attention does not always warrant a, “yes”; it is ok to say, “no” sometimes. As an entrepreneur and blogger, saying, “no” has been one of my biggest challenges because I love to network. I’m also not the best at balancing my time between working and having a social life, so whenever an opportunity presents itself, I cease it.

BabeOnABudgetAs an advocate for utilizing time to the best of your ability, I’ve conditioned myself to put every decision into perspective; how will it benefit me in achieving my heart’s desires? When you change your mindset and hone in on what’s important, it simplifies your choices. There will be times in which you may have to eat leftovers for (3) consecutive nights rather than dining at Ruth Chris even though you can afford it; this is what you call, “sacrificing”. Yes, this may require discipline and until you build the habit, it may be difficult at first, but it is possible. Thinking about my future and the longevity in which all of these practices will bring only motivates me to continue. We all yearn to have nice things, but accessing those things doesn’t mean that you must be left empty handed. Keep your eyes on the prize, make intentional decisions, be economically savvy and be a babe on a budget.