First day on the job and I’m fired. Yes, fired. I cannot make this up. Your girl got fired on my very first day on the floor. Unaware of how or why this just happened, and in complete shock, I calmly respond, “oh wow is this a joke… well can I at least come in next Friday and pick up my check?” I walked out and immediately called the one friend I can always count on to answer. I vented, she said her encouraging piece, and I hung up. I called back in 30 minutes and it wasn’t long into the conversation before I broke down in tears. Why exactly was I crying? It wasn’t exactly because I got fired, from that job at least. If I’m honest I planned on quitting right before my birthday. It was more so the overwhelming emotion of not feeling good enough that came over me. I began to reflect on all my, what I perceive as, short comings in life. Here I am, almost a quarter of a century and nowhere near where I want to be in life, success and financial wise. How was I fired from a job that doesn’t require a degree? Why am I being rejected from so many jobs that require my degree and qualifications? I followed my heart and moved to a city far away from loved ones and now what? My sister looks up to me and sees me as having my shit together, but that is far from the case. When will the shit I got going on behind the scenes start being enough to pay rent! So many negative thoughts crossed my mind. I was being extremely hard on myself. The next day at work, I was definitely operating off of low energy and it didn’t help that two “how are you’s?” turned into them pouring all their fears and complaints of the current state of their workplace on to me.
I took a day to reflect, only entertain those and things I knew would uplift me and I prayed and meditated a lot the next day. I realize I was and have been extremely hard on myself these last few days. I wasn’t acknowledging all that I had accomplished up until this point. I’m literally experiencing some things I prayed to come to past, leading up to me being here. This being stated, there’s no set timeframe or manual on how to live this life. Work hard, stay consistent, and press forward. Do your part and shit will come to pass. Don’t forget to give yourself credit for all that you have done. A lot of people can’t do what you have done. God tends to open doors that are needed vs. our wants. A lot happens for a reason and it’s all a part of your designed purpose. Remember your why. Remember who you are. And always remember that you are enough! Don’t take rejection personal.
