When it comes to your love life, do you tend to gravitate to an individual who can ensure a stable lifestyle or one that melts your heart upon the sound of their voice? As an adolescent, I’ve always been an advocate of passionate romance and making sure that I do everything in my power to avoid mediocre love, but as I’ve matured, I came to the realization that love isn’t enough. However, I am cognizant about the vitality of having similar core characteristics such as beliefs, morals, values and similar interests. Balance appears to be the best solution in this case; a fun-loving, free-spirited, ambitious and dedicated man would be the, “perfect” recipe, but we all know a perfect mate is nonexistent.
At a certain point in time, you come to the conclusion that your mate must possess more than good looks and a toned physique. Reflect on the questions you ask yourself when swimming in the dating pool; is he independent, does he try to find solutions before resorting to handouts, does he provide constructive criticism when needed, can he cater your needs, can he pray for you, is he willing to talk things out rather than going to sleep upset? These inquiries along with a list of others are to be considered when cosigning on the decision to be in a committed relationship.
Unfortunately, a majority of us lack the patience to consider these aspects because we are caught up on being in a relationship and having someone they can identify with. Don’t get me wrong, relationships are a beautiful thing and can be very beneficial when engaging with the right one, but it’s also important to utilize the time you have to yourself to learn more about you; what you desire and require. During this time period self confidence is established and self worth is put into perspective. Once these areas are recognized, saying, “no” to people who are unable to see your value comes at ease. I’m learning that patience brings the best rewards; it’s challenging at times, but so refreshing in the end. If you’re currently in a stagnant relationship, consider making the conscience decision to remove yourself if it isn’t helping you thrive as an individual. Sure, “love” isn’t always the easiest things to walk away from, but just because you love someone, does not imply that you must be with them. The choice is yours sis; “Passion” or “Stability”?