Tag: single

Dating, Faith, Featured, Lifestyle, Love, Opinions, Relationships, Sex, Thoughts of a Black Girl, Urban Issues

Relationships Don’t Solve Your Problems, They Magnify Who You Really Are

shaniselene

As the year progresses, “Relationships” seem to become the topic of everyone’s conversation. There’s not a day that goes by where I scroll through my feed or timeline on my social media handles and someone is either begging, complaining or yearning for a relationship. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a significant other, but there are a variety of factors that most forget to consider.

Having a partner extends beyond cute Instagram pictures, videos and wearing matching outfits. If the goal is marriage, this person needs to be able to befriend you, confide in you, pray for you (depending on your beliefs) and help you grow into a better person while you reciprocate those same abilities. When negative factors are presented, you all need to take the time out to make an effort to fix the issue. While infidelity is a deal breaker for myself, I always encourage those who’ve endured this form of trauma to see if this is an area they can work through; if it’s fixable or worth it? Based on experience, most people assume that marriage is the answer to all solutions, when in fact that it is the total opposite. It simply uncovers who you both are as individuals , so if underlying issues persist either between the two of you or within yourselves, the marriage is likely to suffer.

In regards to underlying issues, insecurities are common factors. Many people don’t realize how their self esteem and confidence levels will impact their partner and dynamic of the relationship. We all suffer from things that we’d either like to change or aren’t content about, but what we must understand is until we love ourselves wholeheartedly, we will look for that same love within our partner. They will never be able to grant you that type of satisfaction because you all need to come together as (2) whole people; think of your partner as an asset rather than a need, therefore the element of codependency is nonexistent.

Unions are such a beautiful thing, however, good things come to those who wait. Don’t ever allow your impatience to rush you into a situation to satisfy temporary desires. Prepare and position yourself to be loved and to be received. While you’re waiting cultivate you, allow yourself to flourish, mold your craft so you can thrive and remember to enjoy your singleness because once the love of your life arrives, it’s no longer about you.

Dating, Relationships, Sex, Uncategorized

Living Single

Ke'Anna B

I know I’m not the only one that feels like being single is weird. It does and it’s like “what do I do next?” What do we do next? Go to happy hour, sit cute and catch a vibe with a fine thang. Have a one night stand why not? It’s easier said than done. I think when women become single we focus more on ourselves. We start to evaluate all that we need to do in order to keep our last bit of peace of mind if you haven’t lost it all. We really start to love thyself. It’s crazy because break-ups are always connected to disconnection, miscommunication/no communication and things we possibly won’t ever forgive. But now I look at break-ups as lessons. Whether that is for you all to get yourselves together and brings those STRONG, INDEPENDENT forces together. Or be completely done with one another so you can prosper accordingly without them. We are starting to use grind time as the getaway instead of taking a bite out of Mr. Chocolate at the bar. We are smart as hell, you better ask about us.

 

It’s like I just got out a relationship, why do I need to jump right back in? I need space to breath. Find myself again. But damn focusing so much on myself made me a little lonely. And just like that you’ve got your first example on “how single life sucks!” I’m quite sure a few of you are wondering “how did you just say you all of those things about focus on yourselves you don’t need…” I know but you get what I’m saying. That single life hits you at night. Low key it hits me all of the damn time when I least expect it. ZESTYYYYY! Zesty means having the urge to have some hot and steamy sex. Now if I’m single how likely is this going to be happening? Ladies that aren’t concerned with getting some, what about cuddling? Many guys don’t cuddle with women especially while they are single. It shows to much affection for those that are not. Which leaves us zesty, thirsty and about to die from lack of attention and butt rubs. We hold you all completely and utterly accountable. Lol.

 

All jokes aside how easy do you think being a single, black woman is? That was a serious question. I’ll sit that right there. I’ve always wanted to know what you all “thought” we did and/or do while we are single. Perhaps, drink our little lives away? Yeah? Some of us but womp, womp wrong again. Men in the building keep it funky with your girl, when your ex gets back on the market, for those that care, what do you think she’s doing? Now I want to make this as fun and cranked up as possible. Keep it cute and don’t be rude! Drop comments below!