I feel like all aspects of my life are flourishing right now, but my love life. I’d be lying if I said the thought of being in an amazing healthy relationship with the love of my life doesn’t cross my mind from time to time. Fall has arrived and what isn’t appealing about spending these soon come cold months with a significant trusted other? Such a feeling is normal and I imagine I am not alone, but in contrast, my current love for being alone and newfound mindset to embrace my singleness comes first.
I feel as though we live in such a relationship- crazed society. Whether it’s #relationshipgoals for a couple we know nothing about other than the cute pictures they post, reality TV glorifying scandalous, toxic, drama filled relationships that are endured out due to history, or what seems to be this unsaid expectation to have somebody. Whether that having somebody entails being in a official monogamous relationship, a situationship, or someone we can call up at midnight to pull up. Nonetheless, the expectation seems to be that you have somebody.
If we are not careful, we internalize this unsaid expectation. Such subtle societal norms I believe can cause us to settle, go from relationship to the next, and fail to enjoy our singleness. I’ve come to the realization and embrace the fact that being single isn’t a bad thing. Especially if your peace of mind is in tact. Especially if it’s due to coming out of a relationship that wasn’t fulfilling you emotionally or that you felt was less than what you deserve. Singleness should be a time to work towards being the best version of you. Being honest about what went wrong in your last relationship: what you could have done better or differently, red flags that you’ll be sure not to ignore moving forward, creating or getting back to your standard. Not a time to search for love or dread being alone, but instead a time to focus entirely on you and your goals.
Enjoy these moments that you can sleep in or take a spontaneous trip. Enjoy these moments where you are not obligated to answer to no one. Take this time to essentially be selfish as hell and put yourself out there in various interests and opportunities. Take an acting class. Go on dates. Don’t date or entertain anybody. Whatever you decide, it’s all about you. And when you do meet a guy or girl, pay attention to those red flags! Do not settle because he or she is attractive, you’re lonely, or feel you can’t do better. Understand that you are amazing with or without a partner, work on being the woman that you feel you need to. You don’t “need” someone to complete you or feel whole. Be the woman of your own dreams, mentally, physically, and emotionally. Love will come.
Although you may be currently experiencing a period of heartbreak, discouragement, or loneliness, one day it will come and priorities will shift. Don’t rush the process. When it’s right, it is right. Therefore, be encouraged and fall in love with you.