In a world of life-sized Genetically Modified Objects and socially inept individuals who lack the ability to verbally communicate, make eye contact during a discussion or refrain from expressing their emotional state on social media, it can be quite challenging to possess and abide by standards that seem so far-fetched in today’s society. I’ve always had high standards for as long as I can recall, however, I never perceived that to be a negative thing up until my peers constantly stated, “Shani, your standards are too high”. At one point in time, I started to believe what they were saying, but then I caught myself; my standards are set at the level in which they are based on me; what I have to offer and what I bring to the table. When you’re in search of companionship, lowering your standards will only attract, “help-mates”; individuals who need assistance, who may constantly look for you to fill a void where they lack and who may eventually become dependent. Keeping your standards at their current position will attract, “help-meets”; individuals that will assist you, pour into you, motivate you to do better in the areas in which you struggle.
On the contrary, as I’ve matured, I’ve learned the ability to decipher what areas are compromisable and what my deal breakers are. Engaging with someone who shares your core values is a must. Ever pondered on the thought as to why birds don’t date fish? Where will they live? Their needs and purposes are at two completely different ends of the spectrum. This newfound relationship may be exciting because it’s, “different”, but eventually the flame will burn out and they both will suffer tremendously.
In hindsight, people try to pursue what society classifies as the, “ideal mate”. Date what attracts you; if you adore intellectual conversations, be with someone who can provide that to you; if you like athletes, take one seriously who is reciprocating the same interest; if exotic dancers spark your interest, be with one, but understand the consequences that come along with dating your type. People have the tendency to go after what they believe they are supposed to and not what they actually desire. Typically, the root of their relationship problems isn’t their mate, but the fact that the person failed to be honest with themselves from the beginning. Do yourselves a favor by sticking to your guns, acknowledging when you’re being unrealistic and entertain what naturally attracts you.