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Fall Back and Spring Forward

As the mark to make a month slowly approaches since I’ve been on a social media hiatus, I’m sad to say that it’s coming to an end. I’d be lying if I said that waking up carefree and not having to check notifications, direct messages or insights hasn’t been refreshing to say the least. I’ve gained so much clarity on specific situations pertaining to business endeavors, business relationships, friendships, school and I’ve learned so much about myself.

Even though my desire to return to social media has dwindled, it’s imperative to my growth as an entrepreneur. I’ve been blessed to obtain additional clients from sharing my content online. I’ve also had the opportunity to meet like minded individuals in the same field.

The most challenging part about my break was accepting the fact that even though I confirmed my perception on this virtual world that we’re so engulfed in, which I already knew, I must admit that it has played an important part in allowing myself to see all of the positive aspects that people see in me. There is nothing more fulfilling than knowing that you can not only encourage, but influence others to be the best they can be, solely by being yourself.

Self awareness is one thing, but when you come to a sudden realization and everything starts coming together, it all makes sense. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, pressured, confused and what to find out the people who are truly in your corner, unplug from everyone and everything. When it’s time for you to make your return, you’ll come back recharged, refreshed and ready to conquer!

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Unplugged

As you mature, life forces you to make tough decisions and if you’re anything like me, that isn’t necessarily your favorite thing to do. The year 2018 has advanced technology like no other, especially social media. While most enjoy snapping selfies, fulfilling their self esteem based on the number of views and likes they receive, I take pleasure in the moments that aren’t captured.

Earlier in the week, I experienced a mental breakdown, that I’m ashamed to admit that was linked to my social media platform that had me considering to delete my page. About (2) years ago, my instagram had 600 followers; fast forwarding to today, I’m at 6,000. The irony in this is that I had no intentions on growing my page, let alone indulging in blogging. Due to my oblivion of what was taking place, I hadn’t realized the type of community I was creating solely by being myself. Whether it was posting a picture with an inspiring caption, displaying ways to be proactive in achieving your goals, offering workouts to remain fit or sharing words of encouragement to my story, I related to my followers in some form or fashion.

Regardless of Instagram’s new algorithm, supplying your audience with what they want to see is critical to your success (based on society’s standards). About a month ago, 54% of my audience were men and 46% were women varying from the ages of 18-35. Since I’ve started my medical school journey, I’ve been touching base on the meetings I attend within my medical organization, clinical rotations at the hospital, shadowing sessions with various physicians, as well as my skincare services that I offer as an esthetician on my platform. Most have taken well to it, but some have been requesting more workout videos, makeup tips and stories where I demonstrate how I meal prep. Although I haven’t disregarded these requests, I’m aware of the importance of having a niche and being consistent.

What was the point of the backstory of my mini meltdown you may ask? Although I’m a firm believer of putting yourself first when it comes to your mental health, I’m a softy when it comes to those who seek advise and look for direction. That’s been my biggest battle thus far. Although I experience so much bliss when I’m not utilizing social media and enjoying the moment rather than capturing it, in the back of my mind, I think about those who look for my opinion. Yes, I believe in doing things for me, but I genuinely have a love for helping others. I’ve spent so much more time with God and have obtained the ability to hear him more clearly. On the contrary, I’ve received calls, texts and notifications of people checking on me and inquiring where I’ve gone. Keep in mind that it hasn’t been a full week, yet people have noticed. While that is a positive aspect and this decision has shown me who my true friends are, I still have to maneuver in a fashion conducive to my health. I encourage anyone experiencing similar emotions to take a break, unplug and refrain from feeling pressured to continue to do what you think you should be doing because the majority is doing it. I am so thankful that I have a fulfilling life outside of my platforms and don’t seek for validation from others compared to those who do. I haven’t made a final decision as far as when or if I’ll make a return. I’ve prayed and plan on fasting for an answer, but until then, you’ll just have to stay tuned.

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Sacrificing Your Friends For Your Future

It’s important to monitor your inner circle when it comes to pursuing your goals in life. One of the hardest realities I’ve faced has been learning to let go of individuals that have exceeded their expiration date. I used to be one of those people who held onto relationships (both platonic and romantic) based on the amount of time the person has been in my life.

After various events that took place within a friendship of mine, I realized that outgrowing people is a part of life and accepted the fact that everyone isn’t meant to come along during certain parts of my journey. If you care for your loved ones as much as I do, then you’ll understand why this decision wasn’t an easy one. There will be some people that take offense to your choice because they either don’t understand or don’t want to put in the effort to understand that you all may be growing apart and going separate paths.

One of my biggest mistakes were allowing some of those people to make me feel guilty for growing, for becoming the woman I am and wanting more for myself. Rather than encouraging me, I was ignored, called conceited and selfish. They were wrong about every description except classifying me as, “selfish”.  Even though I’m not a self absorbed person, for the past (6) months I’ve been extremely selfish with my funds, time and things I put my energy into. They say that your 20’s are the perfect time to think about yourself.  This is the time to make decisions for yourself and highly consider what’s best for you; it isn’t the time to settle. 

After having an epiphany and grasping what that concept really meant, I no longer felt the need to apologize for the decisions I’ve been making. I quickly learned that my true friends who genuinely supported me resided in different parts of the world. Sometimes we get so caught up on accessibility and fail to realize that just because something is available and tangible doesn’t always mean it’s in our best interest.

You want to ensure that those around you call you to the carpet when you’re slacking. Your friends must be able to hold you accountable for your actions even when they aren’t the best. They need to have the ability to feed your spirit and pour into you when you don’t have the energy to do it for yourself. 

In no way, shape or form am I telling you to drop your, “day 1’s”. However, I do encourage you to decipher who your are keeping in your life, why you are keeping them in your life and if they deserve to stay.

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Knowing When It’s Time To Let Go

December will make (3) years since I’ve been in a committed relationship and as much as     I’d like to say that it was a challenge to overcome, that’s not necessarily the case. Like most people, the desire to rekindle an old flame sat at the back of my mind for quite some time, but after revisiting the events that took place I realized the breakup was for the best.

Being in love comes with a sense of euphoria as well as a great deal of pain because once you all hit your first bump in the road, it feels as if your world is ending. After the dust settles and you all make up, everything goes back to normal. The thing about love that most leave out is outgrowing the person. They could be the most attractive, sweetest and intelligent partner, but the goals you have for yourself and their ambition may not align. People don’t always part ways due to infidelity; sometimes they just grow apart. If you’re self aware, you typically sense when it’s time to move on, but we all know it’s not that easy to let go.

When I was in a relationship, although I was happy, I placed a lot of weight on the future. Yes, planning ahead is important; picturing yourself with the other person for, “forever” is what I’ve learned to consider when dating, but I’ve also realized that accepting the person at face value is just as important. It’s a great concept to have when it comes to seeing the potential in your partner, but what most fail to realize is that it isn’t guaranteed. After having an epiphany, I made the conscious decision to move forward and not to turn back. Even though he was my best friend, my confidant and lover, I had to stomach the fact that we were on two completely different paths. One of the hardest things about love is accepting the fact that just because you love someone, that does not signify that you all must be together.

If I told you there wasn’t a sense of guilt that followed this frame of mind, I’d be lying. It’s tough making decisions that you don’t want to and it’s even tougher regarding the means you go about doing so. In no way, shape or form am I perfect; I’m human. As a human being, learning to make and live with the decisions you make are not only a part of life, but a part of love. Knowing what I know now, had I prolonged what had plateaued so long ago, resentment had the possibility of developing. Rather than ending up tolerating one another, letting go was best because it saved whatever form of friendship we could have.

I can’t see what 2020 will hold, I don’t know what’s to come in the future and I’m not putting a time limit on anything, but what I can do is prepare. I can use the lessons learned in my past to advance my relationship to come. I can be vocal when I feel as if our situation seems as if it is becoming complacent and stagnant and know that my partner will reciprocate what needs to be done to avoid this from consuming our relationship based on the foundation we’ve built. I encourage everyone to listen to their gut; listen to your spirit because it won’t steer you wrong. Never stay out of guilt, but stay purely out of desire.

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For the Love of Medicine

I recently began my clinical rotations at Florida Hospital this past week and although shadowing is not a requirement, it makes your medical school resume more competitive. This experience not only has altered my perception of life, but I’ve gained a newfound appreciation for my well being. Seeing numerous people with a variety of chronic illnesses and diseases opened my eyes to the lack of knowledge surrounding health. 

One patient in particular has been battling sickle cell disease for their entire life; she’s forty years old and a mother of two. Along with excruciating joint pain and body aches, she was also in need of an oxygen mask due to having difficulty breathing. Thankfully, she has the support of her parents to assist with her illness and children, but I can only imagine her daily stressors.

It’s sometimes hard to fathom why bad things happen to good people, but unfortunately, that is life. There is no easy way to accept these circumstances, but this is what makes the job of a physician special because they have the ability to either find cures or assist with prolonging the life of the patient. This experience has further much confirmed my reasoning to pursue my specialty of interest because it breaks my heart to see those in pain. Dermatology not only allows me to educate others about skin care and assist with clearing their skin, but empower them and build their self confidence.

I highly advise those of you who are premed students or anyone interested in pursuing a career in the medical field to not only shadow at a private practice, but at an actual hospital. It will allow you to see what you’re interested in, as well as what you can and can’t handle. Being a medical professional includes having to keep your composure even during high stress situations. If you have a genuine passion to help those and love medicine, then go for it. Yes it will be a challenging journey, but the outcome will be rewarding.

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Racism In Medicine

As a recent undergraduate pursuing a career in Dermatology, I’ve learned that there are numerous unspoken rules that aren’t taught in college. One of those rules included minorities having to work twice as hard to prove they are qualified to become a physician regardless if they exceed their medical school requirements. I came across an article stating that there were fewer black medical students in 2014 than in 1978. This small excerpt of information baffled me because the year of 1978 was closer to the days when racial prejudice was at its peak, but after shadowing various doctors, I grasped the concept as to why.

I’ve been blessed to have the opportunity to experience the daily routines of medical professionals both within and outside my area of interests, but I’ve noticed that although my resume surpassed the requirements of that office, there were certain occasions where I was, “handled differently”.  I remember visiting a local practice after emailing my resume, all forms of required documentation and my liability certificate and when we finally met in person, I was further interrogated; some of these questions had absolutely nothing to do with medicine or shadowing. The physician was quite bold and upfront, and even stated that they were surprised someone who looked like me didn’t consider a career in modeling or something of that nature. While most would be flattered by this suggestion, I was offended. I took the physician’s statement to heart because the doctor completely disregarded my qualifications due to my appearance and their preconceived notions. My second experience was during an event that I attended discussing women overcoming adversity and bias in medicine. Although I met the characteristics of being a women with a future in medicine, I was still judged because I was a minority; as if black students shouldn’t pursue careers in this field and should be overly applauded if they make the decision to do so.

It’s a tough pill to swallow, but I’ve accepted the reality. I understand that the individuals hosting most of the medical school interviews will be from the majority and a large number would agree that I do not meet the, “typical” physician standard; male and caucasian. I understand the importance of abiding by the rules until I get through the door, but I’ve made the conscious decision not to allow the prejudice stereotypes in medicine stop me from being myself (dolled up/possessing cosmetic interests) because I am intelligent, ambitious, professional and know that I have what it takes to be a physician. As long as I ensure that I am studying, putting in the work, remaining humble and grounded, and keeping my faith first, I cannot lose. Indeed, it will be a challenge, but inevitably worth it in the end. I not only want to improve the overall health of my patient’s skin, but provide them with knowledge on how to live a healthier lifestyle, provide the tools they need to sustain it as well as alternative options that do not require prescription medication. It’s unfortunate, but we lack doctors who know how to treat ethnic skin and it’s an underserved community that need fair and honest assistance and practice in the field of Dermatology. Whatever your passion may be, please do not allow the odds to come against you. Things may be challenging, but nothing worth having comes easy. Remember that it’s ok to bend, but never break sis…ever.